Moments Series Book 3: "Moments That Bind..."

"Alone..."

Munchie:

The sun held no warmth today as Riley and I sat on an old wooden park bench.

His wife Lorena, and daughter Reina, were playing with other four year old kids on the slides.

Both Riley and I sat with a hot styro cup of coffee as we talked, our shoulders touching.

"You cannot go on like this."

"And how exactly do you want me to go on?" I asked a bit pissed.

"I don't know. Just, stop thinking about him already! Look for someone else to pour all your emotions to."

"Wow. Like that's easy to do. Oh wait! Yeah it is easy... for you."

"Don't make this about me Munchie."

"And why not?"

"Because I'm not the one hurting here." He had a point.

It has been three months. After I left India that day, I never heard from Amir or from Kahlil. It was like I didn't exist. Like our relationship... never happened.

I tried reaching out, several times. A thousand times. My number was blocked. My emails unanswered. My efforts... unappreciated.

I sighed.

"About a year into our relationship, people started noticing how unnaturally close Kahlil and I were. How he'd manage to find ways to touch me at the drop of a hat, how his hugs lingered, how he stared at me with longing from across the room, and how his trips abroad more often than not coincided with occasions that I needed to attend, or take part of."

"And you didn't know that something was up?" Riley asked, waving at Lorena who called him to show Reina sliding on her own down a winding slide.

"No. Honestly, I thought everything was okay. That we've managed to hide our relationship from the public. He never, not once, told me that there was an uprising, or that he was receiving death threats."

"How did you find out then?" He asked, surprised.

"Amir. His head of security divulged everything to me after Kahlil got shot. How the extremists were behind the uprising. How they were demanding for him to step down, and pass the title on to his nephew. How for more than two years, these extremists could not get a solid evidence much less a scandalous photo of Kahlil and I simply because I was careful of how I conducted myself in the presence of the Caliph, and partly due to the fact that the plantation in India was difficult to infiltrate... so spying on us was utterly impossible."

"So how did they finally achieve to bypass all the alarms at the plantation?"

"One of Amir's men, the same guy who tried to shoot me, provided them with access codes and passwords including a blueprint of the property."

"I still find it remarkable how for years there was no news about you and Kahlil's secret rendezvous."

"Kahlil ordered a news blackout regarding any and all activities pertaining to him and I at the height of the uprising. Stating that any person, or media outfit that added to the unrest and dissension will be dealt with severely."

"Is he still Caliph?"

"Yes. Most probably why he won't return my emails or calls. Trying to hold on to his title. His... I don't know, reputation I guess?"

"I still don't understand how someone who took a bullet for you and claims that he loves you so much could just drop you like a hot potato... unless it was all a lie."

"Neither do I. Funny thing is... I'm still trying to hold on to what we have. Unwilling to let it all go." I said, looking at Riley's handsome profile.

"Well, you have to. No use holding on when the other person has clearly moved on. Take it from me." He said, looking straight ahead, sadness was evident in his voice.

He did. He has moved on. He was able to accept the fact that we could never be more than just best pals. Especially since I made it clear to him that I didn't want to hurt Lorena by breaking her trust.

I didn't feel him moving away, putting up barriers, building a wall. Probably because back then I had Kahlil, and I was too wrapped up in all my emotions with the Caliph that I had no time to notice how a gap was forming between me and my bestfriend.

Now... I feel that gap.

"I'm sorry Riley." I whispered.

"Hey, you weren't the one who got married and became unavailable."

"Yeah, but I let our friendship..."

"Stop. We're still friends. We're never going to be rid of each other. Forever remember? It's just that... I can never be that close to you again. The temptation is still there. The pain, the wanting, the longing... it all lies barely hidden from the surface. I'm not that strong yet. I'm sorry." He smiled sadly at me, staring at my lips.

"It's okay. I understand. I asked you to stop wanting more than what I could offer. Remember?" Riley shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee.

"I miss him."

"You really need to stop. He's not yours. Never was. He has wives. Concubines. You weren't special to him." He replied somewhat pissed.

"How can you say that? He took a bullet for me!"

"Probably to avoid a scandal. Not necessarily because he cared for you. Might be because he was afraid news would leak how you got shot in his presence."

"He loves me. He truly cared Riley."

"Fine. If it makes you feel better, tell yourself that. Tell yourself that with all the wives and concubines he collected... you were special." He smirked, then shook his head.

"I was! He proved that time and again. He was mine. He loved me... he loves me."

"But not enough to choose you over his title! Over his kingdom. And yet you chose him, a married man. While as I was willing to turn my back on..."

"Are we back to this again?" I stood up, taking my jacket from the back rest of the bench, getting ready to leave.

"You're right. You are absolutely right. I'm back where we left off. Just like that. You trigger everything to come back. I can't do this anymore." He too stood up.

"Do what?"

"Everything!" I stood frozen, aftaid of what he was going to say next. "The rejection. The pain. The longing. You... you... gawd! You repeatedly hurt me with your presence. I can't bear to see you, hear you, smell you... feel you. We need to stop seeing each other Munchie. I'm sorry. We just..." He looked as if his carefully projected persona would crumble any moment. "I just can't."

He hurriedly walked away to join his wife and daughter. Leaving me as I've always been in life...

Alone. So utterly... alone.