Midnight Music

Smoke and Roses

I swore I was over you, over us and everything that could have been.
But everything points back to you.
All the love stories ever made or retold.
All of it reeks of you .

Remember the night when it stormed outside ?
I sat alone in the rain while you made love to her.
You told me I do too much.
You didn't have to say it but I know you were saying to leave . Not in a physical sense but an emotional sense .
That's who we are, I know what you say but before you say it . It's an unspoken language that goes way beyond human imagination.
So here I am watching you change into the beast again between drunken cigarettes and people who tell you, you need to prove yourself.
So I packed my bags while you had " exceptional" friendships with the very people who cursed my name . Who swore I was never good enough or never would be .
I'm a brave soldier all alone, wounded in combat.
It always ends like this, always breaks into some bloody nightmare where I keep falling and then
I drop of bare concrete and my backbone breaks .
I slither away like a serpent as if all I did was evil.

What do I do now that the roses stopped coming ?
You try to make it work don't you?
Pretend, get my attention, make a dumb joke of it all.
You're the only one laughing , the room is silent.
The smoke has intoxicated you so much .
How can you reason ? You cannot love, you are a monster!

You will never see the light of love in my eyes,
Long for the day to feel my warmth.
You will seek the highest mountains and never find it . It is not yours for the keeping .
I longed for you so long so tirelessly yet you neglect it and bite the very hand that feeds you .

The things you'd do to me given the chance .
It's not fair, none of it .
The shift of eyes and hands between us .
It's not fair, none of it,

I hear your voice after love song as taunting phantom of an oblique memory of everything I never had . All the times you left when I needed you .
You scream trust issues trust issues trust issues!
And I reek of defeat . I perspire of lost and broken hearts . Nothing has ever worked out has it?

So here we go back to this distance.
Maybe you'd never find your way back .
Then it's going to be too late too far .
The distance would be unbreakable silence.
Forever maybe we'd never meet again.
All silent giggles left to solitude breaking every inch of your happy soul .
I wish you love and that you can leave me alone .
Like for good to stop thinking of me .

I wish you love and life in its fullest .
No jealousy just silence and my door locked.
Cheers to letting go .
There's nothing left to say because you don't listen anyway . Good bye my friend.