What We Take Away

Chapter 24 | Cassie

Why isn't she replying?

I need her to be here. I need to hear her annoying French music so I don't feel so alone. I need her sharp wit to remind me how to laugh. I need her experience and knowledge to tell me all the things my parents never told me about sex, about relationships and how to maintain them. I need her to help me figure out how to keep Aram happy, and also tell me what to do when Zac--

I scrunch my eyes shut.

It doesn't matter anymore, I remind myself. Zac doesn't matter anymore.

I turn my attention back to my calculus homework and work until the derivatives on my page blur into dreams.

---

After three consecutive days of snow, the campus paths are finally shoveled and cleared for walking. However, the ground is still slick with sheets of ice, making my trek to Crane Recital Hall rather treacherous.

I barely make it to class on time, only to learn Dr. McLeish is running late. I sit in my usual chair towards the back, along with the same group of music major friends.

Karina (the flutist) pulls a massive muffin from her bag and begins to eat it. She turns to the boy next to her with her mouth full.

"I read an article the other day," she says, her coal-lined eyes darker than usual.

Her friend looks very sophisticated wearing a fine knitted vest over a crisp white shirt along with wood brown corduroy pants. His name is Benjy Lamonte and I've since learned he is a freshman organ major. Benjy examines his cuticles as he responds.

"What was it about?"

"The correlation between creative and artistic people and the number of sexual partners they have," Karina smirks.

The busty, long-haired girl they call Vi (short for Violetta) whips her head around. Her bottle green eyes are wide and bright with interest.

"Ooooh, juicy! What were the findings?" she gasps with mock scandal.

"Basically, you're likely to have more sexual partners the more creative and artistic you are," Karina replies smugly. "This is good news for our friend Benjy here," she pats him on the arm.

"The two of you are unhealthily obsessed with my love life," Benjy rolls his eyes. "Leave a gay man alone."

"It's because they're perverts," Clark (the hornist) sniggers.

"It's because we want you to be happy!" Violetta exclaims.

"What if I don't care about having multiple partners?" he scoffs. "What if one partner is enough?"

"Speak for yourself," Violetta laughs. "More partners mean more practice. More practice means better sex."

"Vi has spoken," Karina grins. "Let's hear from someone else. What do you think, Cassie?"

I blink stupidly, taken off guard that my classmates would engage me directly. Especially for a conversation as personal as this.

"Um... I..." I stammer. "I'm actually celibate."

Karina and Violetta stare at me with disbelief. Clark, the one I like the least, recovers first.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, WAIT--" he says, chuckling. "You're telling me that you don't have sex, not even a little at all?"

I shake my head.

"I'm a Christian," I explain to him. "We believe sex should be saved for marriage."