𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐗𝐢𝐚𝐨 ―𝐠. 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭

10 || Truths and Trust

"I am the God of Healing." Those words remained in Xiao's mind, weighing down on the memories of you treating him. Somehow, everything was starting to make sense: the fact that you're friends with Rex Lapis and can create medicine so potent it can negate karmic debt...why didn't he realize earlier?

"God of Healing, Medicine, Herbs, whatever else you want to call me. I know all the virtues of plants and can heal all infirmities," you continued, a small, sarcastic smirk smearing your face. "Well, I was supposed to be able to heal everything. When Celestia decided that my godly powers could change fate and give humans immortality without ascension, they locked almost all my powers away." Seeing you dig your nails into your palms until blood fell, Zhongli decided to continue the story for you.

"Buer ran rampant and destroyed much of Teyvat, wrecking ecosystems with their knowledge of plants, including the most poisonous. Eventually, they made their way to the Guili Plains, where Guizhong and I once ruled, and we battled fiercely for days. By the time the fight was coming to an end, my people were still suffering from the lack of food and resources arising from Buer's powers. I had no choice but to offer a truce, promising to convince Celestia to return some powers in turn for the prosperity of my land."

"And that's how we became friends," you smiled, eyebrows still knit in bitterness. "Morax got Celestia to give me back some of my powers, but it's so little to the point where many patients still die in my arms. I hear prayers all the time, but without the power to create cures or teleport or use the hundreds of other abilities I once had, I can't heal them all. Isn't it funny that the God of Healing can't heal everyone?"

Xiao's cold gaze eased into one of understanding, his hand slowly reaching for yours before he decided against it. Sympathy for one's past is considered rude; he, as a Yaksha, knew that well. And, he didn't know how to comfort you even if he wanted to. A tight coil wrapped itself around his heart.

You failed to see the Adeptus' worry, refusing to meet his eyes. Until now, you had made yourself out to be a carefree, humble, mortal doctor, and that was shattering within seconds. Xiao now knew you to be a pathetic excuse of a god. How could you face him?

"Anyways," you sighed as you leaned back on the deck, "a thousand years past after that. I continued to live with Morax, Guizhong, and some other Adepti like Cloud Retainer." You chuckled, reminiscing the fond memories.

"And then the Archon War broke," Zhongli noted, quickly turning your feelings sour.

"Yes. I left to travel all of Teyvat to treat all that I can during the War. And then....by the time I heard that....that a friend was injured and made my way back, she...." Not being able to finish your sentence, you simply slammed your fist onto the railing, gritting your teeth in anger. Morax closed his eyes in silence before deciding to walk over to you. He placed a hand on your shoulder, and you took an unstable breath.

"By the time I came back to Liyue, Guizhong had already passed away," you whispered, your voice cracking in grief. "Had I stayed, or had I been strong enough to keep my powers from being taken, I could have saved her. I was so overwhelmed by anger and guilt that I succumbed to my emotions and let myself take part in the war. I crippled most of those gods that fought in Liyue and sent them to the Dark Sea, away from the lands Guizhong cherished so much. Then I decided to become a vagrant doctor as atonement and left once again. I could not face Morax. That is the rage Cloud Retainer spoke of."

"Never have I blamed you for her death. I had always wondered why you disappeared, but I see you were enduring such emotions. I am sorry I wasn't there for you," your friend said, his grip on your shoulder shaking ever so slightly. He knew that your words were much lighter than your true feelings, and he knew now how much of a toll Guizhong's death took on you. He thought your past self was like Xiao--hardened and alone, unwilling to open up to others-- at least, until Guizhong took you in. She showed you the joys of life, but you were unable to protect hers. 

Rex Lapis regretted not chasing after you when you ran away. The scene of your entire body soiled with the blood of others, the pile of mortal vessels and monsters alike, the destroyed lands, and your hysterical laughter of grief before you cried and disappeared over the horizon...It was clearly etched in his mind.

Xiao watched wordlessly as you and Morax mumbled thoughts of your lost friend and the past, a flare of guilt rushing through his chest. Being stripped of your power and watching people suffer through death because of it, knowing you could've eased the pain--even he thought of that life to be nothing more than misery. And all because of his selfish desire, he made you recount those very memories. He didn't mean to go this far.

"So, Xiao, is there anything else you wish to know?" you smiled, snapping him out of his thoughts. He saw you hide your bloodied hands behind your back.

"...No," he managed to say. You nodded your head and leaned dangerously far back on the railing.

"Then," you said, "I'll be leaving now."

With a sudden flash of light, Xiao unconsciously shut his eyes, only to grimace as he looked around the deck after the light faded. You were gone. The Adeptus hung his head, not understanding the tight squeeze in his chest.

"You are upset," Zhongli commented, turning around to watch your beastly form fly into the scenery.

"I apologize," mumbled Xiao as he gripped the edge of his mask hanging on his belt. He needed to move along and do his patrol around the area. He shouldn't be lingering in the Inn like this. But his feet wouldn't budge.

"I have never heard Buer's side of the story until today," the Lord of Geo said, seeing that the Adeptus was still hesitating. "I have never seen Buer open up before. Always was there a barrier set between us in times of their distress, even on peaceful days. I suppose they deemed it necessary to tell you their story in hopes of maintaining your trust."

Xiao's usual, stoic expression betrayed him, one of longing taking over. Morax smiled and nodded his head as if telling him, "Go on."

And so, Xiao did. He ran down to the counter of Wangshu Inn, grabbed some supplies from the confused boss lady, then leaped over the railing with his wind glider securely flying him over the starry horizon. The Adeptus prayed to the Archons that the wind would take him to where you were.

As his feet reached the gentle grass of the Guili Plains, he banished his wind glider and looked around, wondering where you could've gone. Even from the skies, he saw no trace of a human walking the lands. No, you weren't a human. He couldn't locate you as he would with a mortal being.

Just as he began wondering if it was possible to find you, he noticed something glowing in the river in front of him.

It was a (f/c) feather--the same feather he found in the hidden caves you showed him. It danced delicately on top of the flowing water, glistening in the moonlight. Without regard for his clothes, he stepped into the water to pluck the feather from the river, and he held it up to his face and twirled it slowly. Then, something caught his eye.

Beyond the feather and on an island in front of him, he could see a robed figure sitting at the base of the tree. Slowly, surely, he walked through the shallow water, his soft but unsure gaze fixated on your body. When he was close enough to make out the features of your resting face, he silently sat next to you, leaning his head against the sandbearer tree. You smiled sadly when you felt his presence.

"Hello, little Xiao."