Jin's Mistake • KSJ

Thirty Six ꕥ

You got up early Sunday morning, sneaking off to the kitchen to make the waffles. It was almost always Seungho who brought them to you, and your heart clenched with guilt at your motives in doing it this time. You needed to work on compartmentalizing your feelings.

You walked slowly the coffee sloshing precariously toward the edge of the cups. That was what you were doing, about to recklessly spill over the edge of what was right with Jin. You'd splashed over it once, but if it happened again you weren't sure you'd ever stop until the cup was dry.

You could set this tray on the table and wake your husband, tell him every single detail. You'd watch the hurt cross his eyes, the betrayal but you knew that Ji Hoon was right, he would forgive you. How much more could you do and still secure that forgiveness later? Did you even want it?

"Isn't it my job to make breakfast Aein?" Seungho was rumpled with sleep, hair falling over one eye, but his grin was contagious.

You set the tray down on the bed and he lifted his coffee and sipped. You wanted to spill your guts, a surge of love for him rushed through you but you picked up your own cup and remained silent. What you felt for him was real, why were you ignoring it?

"I think you're the better cook," he'd cut into a waffle and was chewing it thoughtfully, "but I think my presentation is more appealing."

You laughed and moved your coffee cups to the side table before crawling onto the bed next to him. You both ate for a few minutes, him feeding you bites this time, the reverse of most Sundays.

"I don't want to wait a year Y/N." Seungho said it so suddenly you startled, then realizing what he was talking about you sighed.

"What choice do we have? If Dongbin has secured me this new job we'll have to wait. I'll be working even longer hours and it will lead to more opportunities for Ji Hoon and me." You knelt curling your fingers into his hair and pulled him closer.

"Let's just run away, leave. I'm worried that you're going to end up getting hurt. Tell me what the fuck I'm supposed to do if something happens to you?" He shoved the tray away, agitation replacing the boyish sleepiness.

"Talk to me Yeobo, you've clearly been thinking about this a lot. What's changed?" You tried not to look away or swallow hard, but the lump in your throat wobbled against your words anyway.

"Jin's back. Do you remember how miserable you were for almost six months? I could tell you were faking everything with me, even normal conversations. You were consumed with your feelings, it was a terrible time for you. You're falling back in and I know it's true so don't lie."

Seungho left the bed and you wanted to pull him back and convince him it wasn't true. Except it was and he could read you like his scripts.

"Don't do this, don't be jealous." Your voice was feeble, and you wanted it to be powerful enough to calm him.

"I met with him Wednesday morning." You could feel your cheeks reddening at his confession, why hadn't Jin mentioned that to you at your lunchtime meeting?

"You said you would." Did Jin tell him everything? That was stupid, Seungho couldn't have just carried on for five days if he had. You calmed yourself waiting for him to continue.

"He says he doesn't have feelings for you, that nothing's changed and my sister and he have an agreement only. He swears he'll marry her and they'll disappear from our lives. He said he hired Ji Hoon to assuage his guilt." You commanded yourself not to flinch at those words, you knew Jin had said them to soothe Seungho.

"So they'll go, we'll keep living our lives. What do you want me to say?" Your fingers gripped the empty bed, twisting the blanket where he'd laid just a few minutes ago.