♥ Mattheo Riddle *•°One Shots & Imagines°•* ♥

|•°Disappointment (part 1)°•|

A/n: ILY GUYS SM U DON'T EVEN KNOW!! LIKE BRO 300 READS!! 😭😭

TW :sucidal thoughts, mentions of self harm. (Hurt/comfort)

"You are proud? You only got 90 percent! There are millions of students who get 90 and don't get a good job to meet their needs. Specifically a medical student can't afford to get anything less than 95." Mom said throwing my report card on the floor.

"Mo- mom you promised you, you'll get me a phone" I took steps further away from her with my eyes locked onto the report card on the floor.

I worked hard, really hard. I studied 10 hours for a month straight, I cancelled dates, I even sacrificed my own happiness to finally make her proud. Still all I see is her wanting more from me. I am exhausted, mentally and physically. With hogwarts and my normal school tests and assignments, I am tired most of the day. Sometimes I think why not stop it, but then I see her face, with her eyes filled with disappointment. I couldn't afford to see that but here I was, barely holding myself together with my mom done with me.

She took few steps towards me while laughing maniacally. "You don't deserve it, anyone can get 90, next time achieve 95 percent and maybe I'll get you a phone. I can't cost distractions with results like these."

"I am trying my hardest mom, managing hogwarts and a normal school-"

"No you are not! " I flinched back avoiding my mom's slap by ducking down. I was used to her slapping me and knew how to defend myself and still every single time she succeeded to make me flinch. My eyes started to water. All I was, was a disappointment.

"But you do you. I pay for books, for your food, for your clothes and this is how you repay me? " She cried.

"Mom-"

"It's all my fault. I shouldn't have been kind to you. Now I'll be stricter with you and your study scheduled. "

More strictness? Mom I already study 10 hours. I am sleep deprived and loosing weight. How can you think that was kind?

"Mom no! I am sorry, please forgive me I'll just go-"

"Yeah go! I am done with you" Mom yelled as I apparated to my dorm.

I broke down with my back slipping down on the wall. I was a crying mess. Why couldn't I do anything properly? My eyes finally felt good with letting out tears that threatened to escape from a long time. I was loosing myself and making everyone sad around me. I was basically useless to mom, becoming nothing but strangers with memories to mu friends and Mattheo. Oh Mattheo, my love, my heart, my prince, I could keep going about him.

He was the only one who didn't break my heart and now I was breaking his.

I missed his mesmerizing smile only I got to see.

The warmth bear hugs would give that only I got to feel.

His strawberries and cigarette scent only I got to smell.

His protection only I got to feel safe in.

His thirsty kiss that only I could get to drown in.

His Hickeys that reminded me I was his and he was mine.

I missed him and everything about him.

Why do we always seek for things we can't get?

He probably doesn't even like me now.

I was his candle and he was my fierce ever-glowing flame that made us complete.

But now with the strong winds threatening to make the flame die, I'll have to make it easier for both of us and blow out the flame myself.

I got up with my drenched clothes taking out the blade from my drawer.

I had to end this now or soon I would melt bringing Mattheo down with me.

A/n: probably not in a position to say this.. But ik you can do this. There maybe people who hate you but there is one who loves you no matter what and cares for u without u knowing. U were born enough and that is all that you can give.
Love yourself cause at the end, that's what matters.

This chapter was pretty emotional to write cause I can relate to it minus the Mattheo part and I wanted for you guys to know that, you are not alone :)