fuckboy

Epilogue I - the aftermath

Y/N's P.O.V.

"What?" Was the first word out of his lips, after he pulled away to look me in the eyes as if determined to establish if I was joking and having fun at his expense. "How did you...?" His eyes did a brief sweep of my body, at last taking notice of the little bit of tummy I'd been trying to hid under loose sweaters and shirts.

"I realized I was gaining weight, feeling sick..." I explained, avoiding his eyes as I hugged myself. "I went to the doctors." Shrugging, I tried to pass it off as less important than it really was, because I knew what was the question in his head, even if the signs of my pregnancy already indicated an answer.

"I'm almost four months pregnant." This time, I looked him directly in his eyes as I said, needing to make sure he understood this and that he wouldn't play dumb. There was no obvious tell as to what he was thinking, but he watched me attentively as I continued at his lack of response, "I was surprised I didn't realize it sooner. I wasn't getting my period and all signs pointed to... this. But apparently, it's quite common - or so the doctor told me..."

My voice drifted off as I continued to wait for a reaction, any reaction, cautiously eying the man frozen before me in the hopes of identifying what he was feeling, when all of a sudden, he exploded.

"We're having a baby!"

He was ecstatic.

I don't know why it surprised me.

I'd always heard about Chris wanting to start a family. Hell, it was the theme of discussion on the night we met. But precisely because we didn't meet in the best of terms, I knew why this was nerve-wrecking to me.

He wouldn't be having any children any time soon if he had to decide this.

I couldn't speak as he reached out to touch my stomach, stopping just short of it when he remembered to ask me for permission.

"Chris, no!" I slapped his hand away, even though I wasn't particularly against feeling his touch there. It was just the heavy reality of the moment, and I felt it would sink in with the weight of his palm over where his child was now growing.

"Not right now, okay?" I whispered, trying to calm myself down. "Go home, I need to sleep and think about this. We'll talk later, okay?" When he didn't immediately move, I finally rose my eyes to look into his.

"I promise." He stayed there for a few more seconds, face unreadable as he stare back into me and I had to bite down on my lower lip so I wouldn't start crying in front of him. This was too much, especially considering I hadn't anticipated having to admit my pregnancy to the father of the baby tonight.

Somehow, he seemed to understand it. Or, at the very least, respect my needs, because with a nod, he turned around and left me to overthink myself to sleep until I had to face him again tomorrow.

Chris' P.O.V.

"Here." She offered a tiny packet to me, wrapped like a present, with a bow and everything. I hadn't been anticipating she'd call me the very next morning, but I couldn't say it wasn't precisely what I had been hoping for.

I had barely been able to sleep after I left her house last night. My mind swirled with everything I'd come to learn, and the weight of my actions and omissions laid even heavier over me when I realized what it would mean for the future of my child.

There was a very concrete possibility I wouldn't get to raise my kid with the woman I loved as my partner because she couldn't trust me with something as big as this.

And how could I blame her? I'd come here last night hoping to get her back and already knowing I didn't deserve her, but now that I knew exactly what I was missing out on by being such a screw-up, I felt like bursting into tears at any moment.