fuckboy

final chapter

Chris' P.O.V.

The next morning brought a familiar hungover that didn't feel as painful as the heartbreak I was still enduring. I could remember everything I'd done the night before - everything I'd said.

And there wasn't a single thing I regretted, if not the idiotic decision to drink beforehand. Maybe if I hadn't, she would have believed me when I told her I loved her.

Because I did, and it was always the plan to let her know so. Not because I wanted the confession to bring her back to me - even though I was dying to have her as my own again - but because she deserved to know. And I deserved to say it.

All I could hope now is that I'd get the chance to actually experience this love that I had ruined for myself, by running from it and losing her.

I didn't plan on giving up, though. I wasn't about to become some sort of stalker guy, but I did want her to know how much she mattered to me. So aside from the messages and the phone call, I didn't go after her, didn't go back to her house or even to any place I knew I could find her in. I just kept an eye on magazine articles and social media, hoping to catch any glimpse of her that I could find, anything that would warn me of how she was and how her relationship with Tom was progressing.

It didn't take another week after the call for me to realize my efforts were paying off.

There was a sighting, her and Tom arguing in front of his place. He had his hands raised, gesticulating as if trying to make his point, while she just seemed over it. Arms crossed around her body, a loose sweater covering her from the cold. She had her face turned away from him in one of the pictures, and in the other she was trying to get away while he held her wrist.

I couldn't wait another minute to see her after it.

"I can't stop thinking about you." It was the first thing that left my mouth when she opened the door to find me. Her face was puffy, it seemed like she'd been crying. It wasn't easy to break up with someone, even if you know they aren't right for you.

Subconsciously reaching out for her, I only realized what I was doing when she shook her head, slapping my hands away. "What are you doing?" She questioned, and I felt the smile drop from my face.

"I saw your pictures with Tom..." I started. "I thought... I thought you two broke up." She nodded, but there was no sign of happiness in her face. Her lips were set in a hard line, jaw clenched, and if I didn't know better, I'd say she was mad at me.

"We did." It was the answer I expected to hear, but in a way I didn't know what to make of it. Changing my weight from one foot to the other I opened my mouth a couple of times before I settled on what to say.

"*You broke up with him?" I made sure to ask, and for a second I saw fire burning in her eyes, making me believe she was about to ask what the hell did I have to do with it.

But she didn't.

"Yes, I did," she sighed, all anger disappearing in that simple exhale as she rubbed her eyes. "Listen, is there a reason why you're here? I am really, really tired." I didn't know what else to say. We just stood there, staring at one another, until something clicked in her.

"You thought I broke up with him because of you," she realized, and although there was no sign of amusement in her tone, there wasn't anything that allowed me to believe that had been the case either.

"Yes," I admitted, suddenly feeling incredibly stupid, but at the sight of her frustration, that pathetic embarrassment faded away, as I realized there was something much more important at stake than my own ego.

"It doesn't matter," I admitted, this time willingly choosing to reach out for her. I watched as she eyed my open arms, contemplating my offer before caving and letting me embrace her.

I tried to breathe a sigh of relief as quietly as possible, not wanting her to think I believed I was forgiven in any way because of this. I knew this was something that she needed, and all I could feel was gratefulness that she was allowing me to comfort her, and I took advantage of this proximity I'd been craving to relish in her softness, memorizing her perfume since I didn't think I'd ever have another opportunity to do so.

"It doesn't matter why you broke up," I reinforced once she pulled away, knowing now was the time to let her know how I felt about it. "But I need you to know - I love you." It was the first time I said it since that drunken night, so I wasn't surprised to see her look away and immediately try to deny it.

"No, you don't," she argued, but I pulled her back before she could get away, insisting, "Yes, I do." I waited until she had set her eyes on me again to continue, "You are the only woman I've ever been able to really talk to. I love you."

"You don't even know what love feels like!" She yelled, frustrated, and all I could do was hold her as she tried to punch me away, crying in resentment at the emotions bubbling inside of her.

But I would never let her believe something that stupid.

"Yes, I do!" I retorted. "I didn't before, but now I do. And I don't want to forget it, I don't want to hide it, I don't want to learn how to love someone else. I want to love you, so I will keep on doing that, forever. With or without your permission."

All I could hear was the sound of my own heartbeat and her heavy breathing as she tried to catch her breath, narrowed eyes staring at me while I kept her in my arms, scared she'd run away and disappear forever if I let her go.

Until she broke the silence and surprised me.

"I'm pregnant."

A/N here: I can't believe it's over! Or is it really... As you can see, I decided to leave the ending pretty open-ended, because I thought it'd be fun to expand on what those two lived through in drabbles or one-shots.

The first epilogue is already written and should be posted in the following weeks, but if anyone has anything they'd like to see from these two, just comment/send me a message and I'll see if it fits the story. Your suggestions will also help me figure out what sort of ending I'll write for fuckboy the novel. The first chapter of that is going to be posted on my patreon today!Thank you all who have stuck so far and followed Chris's and the reader's journey, I hope you've enjoyed. Please let me know if you did!