After spending a little more time with Camila upstairs, I had calmed down to a degree where I went back downstairs.
Apparently dinner was over because no one was seated at the table anymore. I heard a bunch of voices in the living room but decided to get myself some water. Entering the kitchen, I saw my mom cleaning up a bit. She immediately looked up and met my gaze.
"Hey, are you feeling better?" she asked concerned but quietly.
"Yeah", I nodded and hesitated for a moment before getting myself a small bottle of water from the fridge. "I'm sorry for...making a scene."
"No, don't apologize", my mom quickly chimed in. "I'm the one who has to apologize. I shouldn't have cornered you with my questions. Old habits die harder than I thought."
"It's alright", I tried to brush it off. "But it's getting late and we have to leave early in the morning to catch our flight. So Camila and I are going to take off if that's ok."
"Sure", the older woman said. "I'm really happy you came out to see us, Lauren. It meant a lot to me."
"Of course", I kept sparing with words because I was still feeling slightly unsure on how to act around her.
"And Camila seems very nice", she added and this time and I couldn't help but smile gently.
"She is", I almost blushed and drank a big gulp of water.
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence ensuing between us until the other woman put down the dishes to address me again.
"Lauren", she inhaled deeply. "I'm sorry. Not just for cornering you tonight and making you feel like you had escape again. I'm sorry for so many things. And I know you're probably not ready to have this conversation but I want you to know that I'm in a better place. I don't want you to worry about me anymore, or hold back because you want to spare my feelings. Whenever you're ready to talk I'm always here for you."
I felt my body tensing up as soon as she had started speaking. It was the perfect example that I was clearly not ready to tackle the tumultuous relationship between us. But I was surprised to hear her talk about it so openly.
"I...um...appreciate that", I said slowly and avoided looking at her.
"I've been very selfish in the past and although I want nothing more than to repair what I broke between us, I know that it has to happen on your terms and on your time", she said and reminded me of what Camila had said to me earlier. For some reason, those words meant a lot more to me than an apology. It seemed like she was making an effort to not only help herself but acknowledge my feelings as well, which was all I wanted to begin with.
"I'm glad I came as well", I replied with a small smile and finally met the other pair of light eyes. "It's good to see you doing well."
"I know I haven't said this enough but I'm so proud of you, Lauren", my mom added genuinely. "You've become this beautiful young woman despite all the obstacles in your life. And believe me, I know that I have little to do with you becoming who you are; if anything, you've become this wonderful person despite of me and not because of me. Still, I'm incredibly proud of you and...I love you very much."
This time around I couldn't suppress my feelings as easily as before. Her words definitely touched me and spoke to the part of me that felt so hurt. At this point it was a small band-aid on a big wound but it was a step in the right direction and I acknowledged that. I couldn't even recall the last time she had told me that she was proud of me - or even that she loved with such sincerity.
"Thank you, mom", I answered with a small tremble in my voice despite my best efforts to remain collected. "I love you, too."
I saw a few tears glistening in her eyes but they didn't make their way down her cheeks. Instead I heard Camila coming down the stairs. The younger brunette joined me in saying goodbye to everyone. It was a bittersweet feeling to leave again but I was mostly relieved.
