𝙎𝙩𝙚𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝙊𝙣𝙚-𝙎𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙨 (gay warning)

5- 𝙎𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩

It was a late August night, and Steve, Robin, Eddie, and Nancy had just started watching a horror film from Family Video at Steve's house. Steve hates horror films, but he knew Eddie loves them, so he had agreed to watch it.

He had recently realized that he had romantic feelings for Eddie, and it was killing him inside to not do anything about it, but how could he? It was the 80s, and there was no way he could openly talk about it. He didn't even know that Eddie would be ok with gays. Robin was the only one who knew that he was bisexual, and he only told her because she told him she was a lesbian. It just wasn't safe, and especially not in their town.

But he couldn't help but think about it, all the time. Steve wanted Eddie more than he wanted to breath.

He looked over at Eddie, who was engaged in the movie. He knew that he wouldn't hate him, but he might not accept him. Steve looked back to the movie, where someone was being ripped apart by another person. The sight scared him, and without thinking he grabbed Eddie's hand for comfort.

He realized what he did, then he let go. Why was he panicking? This could only be a gay panic. Robin had told him her secrets of gay panics before, and this fit the description. Unexpectedly, Eddie took back his hand and intertwined it with his own.

This was scary, scarier than the movie, that he would want that when he himself wanted it, that he didn't think it was weird.

He rubbed his thumb against his hand to comfort him. Steve looked at Eddie, only to see that he was already looking at him.

'Why do I want this, this life I can't have? Why did I think about him the way I did when it's wrong? Why was he the only think my heart wanted? I try to push it away every time, why won't it go away?'

Steve knew that he couldn't just fight it, that he couldn't do this forever. He wanted to be with him, and he didn't know what the hand-holding meant, but it meant something.

The two looked at each other for a second, before Eddie looked away, still caressing his hand. The feeling he felt whenever he was near Eddie multiplied. He had felt that feeling for months, the feeling that his heart wouldn't be able to pump blood without Eddie in his life , the feeling of desperation, the feeling of love. Eddie and the others were watching the movie, but Steve was watching Eddie. Every move, every blink, admiring every detail in his face, the different dark shades of brown in his eyes, and each curl in his hair.

Steve went back to thinking: 'Will we talk about it after? Should I wait? Does he like me the way I like him or am I taking it the wrong way?'

He had never been this confused in his life in a non-upside-down situation. 'Why are his lips so kissable, and why the the fuck can't I stop looking at them? Can he tell that I'm in love with him or is it still a secret?

I'm bisexual, aren't I?'

Steve soon fell asleep a few minutes later on Eddie's shoulder, all this thinking was making him tired. The other male realized this and looked over to him again. Eddie smiled at the adorable sight next to him, as Steve looked peaceful, and he got to be so close. He kissed the back of Steve's hand before letting go of it.

When the movie was over, the others went to sleep and Steve had woken up from his nap, only to see Eddie next to him. "You wanna smoke?"

"Uh- sure."

"Alright."

The boys went outside, and Eddie pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, along with a lighter. He put one in his mouth and lit it, then put on in Steve's. His heart sped up as Eddie lit his cigarette, only centimeters away from his face.

"I have to talk to you about something."

"Go for it."

"How do you feel about... gay people?"

"Steve, I'm a fag myself."

"Oh, good to know."

"Don't beat me up or anything, Harrington, because Dustin will be on your ass in minutes."

"No, no, I would never. I'm- I think I'm ʙɪsᴇxᴜᴀʟ."The last part was too quiet to hear, as Steve was shy about it.

"I think I'm bi."

"Coolio, dude."

"I wanted to talk to you about it because... ⵊ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ."

"Steve, you're gonna have to speak up, love."

"I like you, in a gay way, full homo."

"I like you in a gay way too, if it wasn't obvious."

"What do you mean, it's not obvious at all. I still kinda thought you hated me until recently."

"That's just what I wanted you to think, pretty boy." Steve blushed.

"How long?"

"Pardon me?"

"How long have you liked me in a gay way, E?"

"Before the forest."

"Me too."

"So why'd you act like you were in love with Nancy in the forest?"

"I don't know, I think I was confused? I had wanted to have a girlfriend for so long, and I thought it was the right thing to do, like that's what she would want?"

"Oh, okay."

"I liked you when I tried to make it work with her because I- I thought I was chasing after a life I couldn't have."

"I think I get what you mean. Go on, love."

"My whole life I was told being gay was wrong, and I never even thought of it because I thought I would have to find a girlfriend because I wanted to be with someone, but then I met you- and I've never felt like this before."

"People don't like gays, but that doesn't mean it's wrong."

"I know that now."

Eddie pulled him in by his shirt collar. "Can I kiss you, Steve?" He nodded his head in response

He smashed his lips to the other's and caressed Steve's face with his hands. It was messy, but neither cared because they wanted each other so bad.

"I- I want you to be with me." Steve said, just centimeters away from Eddie's face.

"Really?"

"Yes, like I want to be yours and I want you to be mine."

"So, Steve the hair Harrington, will you be my beloved companion."

"Yes!" Steve couldn't remember the last time he was this happy.

"Does this mean we're boyfriends?" He had the stupidest grin on his face.

"Yes, although we're gay so... you know how it had to be."

"You're the best secret I've ever had to keep, Stevie."

Steve hugged Eddie, and somehow it was more intimate than their kiss. There was so much love and care.

"I never expected we would be secret boyfriends, E."

"Me either, Harrington." He kissed him one last time before waking back into the house, leaving Steve wanting more.