tongue tied - jake kiszka

35.

   The streetlights lit up the dim city sidewalk as we walked along it, our hands brushing past each other every so often. I wanted him to reach out, to lace his fingers through mine.

   God, he really made me feel like such a sap.

   Jake and Josh had let me sit with them through the rest of their business meeting once the older man returned. It didn't take long, because just as he'd said- Josh had taken care of most of it already.

After it ended and the men all shook hands and said their goodbyes, Jake had asked if I wanted to walk with him for a while. I'd raised an eyebrow curiously, wondering where we were going or if it was simply just a walk.

I'd agreed though, I knew we needed to talk. It felt like that's all we ever did. We talked and talked and nothing ever came out of it. I knew that was mostly my fault though. I'd been so cold to him at times, pushing him farther and farther away, and yet here he still was.

His hand brushed against mine again but this time he slowly interlocked our fingers, his warm skin heating up my entire body. I looked up at him and I was thankful it was dark because I could already feel the flush in my cheeks.

"I don't care what that kid said. You're not a bitch Charlie." Jake murmured and out of everything I expected him to say, that wasn't one of them. He had every reason to think I was a bitch but he didn't.

He never did.

"I know I can be difficult." I said, staring down at my heels as I walked. Jake bumped his shoulder against mine so I would look at him. After a moment, I did. I couldn't give him the satisfaction of having all my attention just yet.

"You can be difficult." He laughed lightly, "But I like it. I always have." I rolled my eyes at his teasing, but inside I felt lighter somehow. I was finally allowing myself to listen to his words- really listen. And I liked what he said.

"I like you Charlie. And you don't have to feel the same way, but if-"

"I do."

A smile twitched at his lips. "Enough for me to take you out on a date tomorrow? A real one? Maybe just you and me this time." He asked and I could feel his thumb rubbing soft circles against my skin.

"You sure we shouldn't invite Lee again?" I joked, raising an eyebrow up at him. He pretended to think about it for a moment. "As long as we can bring Dawn too."

I shoved against him playfully as he let out a laugh and I couldn't help but join in. "I like when you're enjoying yourself. You seem so closed off sometimes."

"I know." I began, letting out a low sigh. "I've always been that way." And I had. For as long as I could remember, even before my dad had passed away. "I just don't know how to talk to people sometimes."

"Can you talk to me?" Jake looked at me closely.

"I'm trying." I offered him a small smile. I wanted to try for him. I'd spent so long pushing him away, creating problems, probably being the most frustrating person he'd ever met. But there was something about the way he made me feel sometimes that I just couldn't seem to shake.

"Charlie," He hesitated, his voice sounding nervous, "I like you a lot. A lot more than I ever intended to." He paused again and I waited for him to continue. "Don't make fun of me for being cheesy, please."

I grinned. "No promises."

I watched his face as he tried not to smile and attempted to regain some composure. "I like the way you talk to me like I'm real person. Even if that means yelling at me outside of a restaurant."

"Hey!"

"Shh, I'm trying to be nice." He laughed softly, "I like your taste in music. And the way those big sunglasses looked on you at the lake. I also like your hair even if you don't." He tugged at one of my short strands and I swatted at his hand which caused him to let out another laugh.

"I like the way your face gets pink in the sun and the little freckles on your shoulders. The way you can't pick a favorite color cause you don't want the other colors to feel bad. Hell, I even like the way you glare at me when I'm acting like an ass."

"I like the way you make smoking cigarettes so much more appealing. Fuck holding each other accountable for that." Jake wrapped his hand in mine again, pulling me closer to him. "I like how much of a challenge you are. And I'll like you even when you aren't a challenge anymore. I'll like you for as long as you let me."

"I like it all Charlie."

I could feel my heart humming in my chest. It was a new feeling and it almost scared me. "I'm not good at boyfriends Jake. I don't know how." I whispered as though it was some sort of a secret.

"We can go slow. Only if you want."

I did want that. I wanted him.

I nodded quickly, letting him know that I was okay with that. "Then we'll take our time. I'll wait as long as I have to Char." He murmured, squeezing my hand lightly in his.

"But I do have one request." He continued and I looked at him again. "Tomorrow. There's somewhere I want to take you."

"My feet can't do these heels again." I warned him, but Jake simply grinned, shaking his head. "You won't need them. I'll pick you up in the morning, yeah?"

I nodded, my mind wandering. Where was he going to take me? I hated not knowing. I almost told him so when he spoke again. "Come on, let's go find Josh and I'll give you a ride home okay?" He squeezed my hand again and I held it tightly.

I felt like the biggest cornball in the world but I liked it a lot more than how I normally felt about myself.