tongue tied - jake kiszka

33.

   I sat awkwardly, staring back at Jake as his eyes bore into mine. I wanted to say something, anything, but once again I was left feeling tongue tied around him.

   "Hey man, it's good to see you again." Lee spoke suddenly, reaching out a fist to dap Jake up. Jake looked at it curiously before letting a smile slowly spread across his face. I raised my eyebrows at this reaction.

   Something about his smile didn't feel friendly.

   "Oh yeah, last time I saw you you were trying to bring home an incredibly drunk girl, right?" Jake tapped his fist against Lee's as he continued, his finger now pointed in my direction, "This girl to be exact, right?"

   I could feel my body getting hot and not from embarrassment. Why did he always have to cause a scene like this? I wasn't going to let it happen this time, I couldn't. Lee was already paling on the other side of me, at a loss for the right words.

   "Jake, come with me." I said abruptly, trying to maintain what little composure I had left. Jake didn't say anything as I got down from my stool and tugged his arm to get him to follow me.

   I was seething from his behavior. "Charlie-" He started to say but I shook my head, my grip still firm around his arm as I dragged him outside the restaurant. Once the door had shut behind us, I turned quickly on my heels to face him.

   "What is wrong with you?" I asked angrily and he seemed taken back by my tone. "Don't give me that look. You know what you said."

   Jake let out a deep sigh and for a second I almost thought I'd be getting an apology. "Honestly Char," He began, "I was just getting started." I stared at him in disbelief, but he simply shrugged.

   "How about we just go back inside and I'll let you finish your date with that kid. No interruptions, I promise." Jake said, running his fingers through his long hair.

   "No need. We're leaving."

   A grin pulled at the corners of his lips as I said that. "We are?"

   "Me and Lee." I corrected him, fighting the urge to roll my eyes. He smacked his lips together loudly. "You don't have to leave." I couldn't stand him sometimes. After two weeks and all the shit that took place the last time we saw eachother, this is how he chose to act?

   "I didn't need your permission nor approval. Lee and I are leaving and you can continue your meeting. I just hope for your sake that you can act professional for the remaining of it."

   A couple passed us on the sidewalk, glancing over in our direction at the sound of my rising tone. I dropped my voice quickly before speaking again, "I'm sorry for that. It was uncalled for."

   Jake's eyes met mine and I could see a hint of a smile on his lips again. "Did you just apologize to me? Somebody needs to document this." He teased, taking a step back to lean against the front of the building.

   Before I could think, I was taking a step closer to him and another one and another until we both had our backs against the cool stone. I stared out at the street in front of us. "Look," I began as I let out a low breath, "I don't want to argue with you-"

   "You seem to enjoy it."

   I threw him a look. "Why do you have to make things hard?"

   Jake fumbled around in the pockets of his jacket for a moment before pulling out his empty hands. I sighed and reached into my little purse that Dawn had sent me off with. His eyebrows rose slightly as I pulled out a pack of cigarettes and offered it to him.

   "Please don't say any shit about holding each other accountable because clearly we don't know how to do that." I couldn't help but smile a little as I said it, remembering our first conversation outside the rinky dink bar.

   "Let's try then." He suggested, reaching into the pack to pull one out. "How about we hold each other accountable for all the dumb shit we've done and said. You go first." I pulled out a cigarette of my own and lit it before quickly passing him the lighter.

   "Okay," I hesitated for a moment, inhaling deeply, "The way you acted tonight was uncalled for." He nodded his head slowly in agreement, his eyes searching the ground. I took this as an opportunity to look at him, really look at him.

His cheekbones were tanned now instead of the pink I had been so used to seeing after our days at the lake. He exhaled from his cigarette, his lips parting in a small O shape and I caught myself looking a little too long at them. My eyes travelled up to his eyes and although he wasn't looking at me, I knew their soft brown color too well.

"You came here with him."

His eyes looked over into mine and I looked away quickly, hoping he hadn't caught me staring. From the sound of his light laughter, I knew he had. "So coming here with Lee is something stupid I should be held accountable for?" I asked, kicking at a few pebbles scattered along the sidewalk.

I didn't want to look at him just yet. I knew my cheeks were pink still from his laughter and I wished he didn't have that kind of effect on me. I felt like a little girl.

"Yeah, you should've came here with me." His voice was soft as it lingered in the air between us. I stilled, refusing to meet his eyes that I knew were trained on me, waiting. Waiting for me to look at him, waiting for me to say something.

Jake nudged his shoulder against mine and I looked over at him, suddenly aware of how close he'd gotten to me.

"You should've kissed me."

A look of surprise fell across his face as I said this. He quickly recovered though as he began to ramble on. "I know I should've. Charlie I wanted to- More than anything. I was just worried that because of everything that happened that day that it wouldn't be right. And I know we're holding each other accountable for all this stupid shit but I want you to know that I-"

"I'm talking about right now."

He stared at me, trying to process what I was saying. I turned against the wall so I was facing him completely and dropped my nearly finished cigarette to the ground. I wanted him to kiss me.

I watched his face as he registered my words and my actions and I waited. "Charlie..." He said slowly, turning his body to face me. He looked nervous, his eyes jumping from my eyes down to my lips hesitantly.

He wasn't going to. I was supposed to be on a date with another man, why would he even want to? I'd been an asshole to him inside then dragged him to stand with me outside just so I could be an asshole again.

"I'm sorry just forget I-"

His lips met mine and before I could even register what was happening, we were kissing. He was tentative at first, bringing a hand up to softly cup the side of my face as his other hand snaked around my waist, pulling me in closer.

I breathed in his scent and relished in his taste as he deepened the kiss, his mouth moving greedily with mine. He gently turned my body to where my back was up against the side of the building, his mouth never leaving mine.

The sky was beginning to darken around us as the sun fully set, but I hardly noticed. I reached up and cradled the back of his neck with my hand, his skin hot against my touch. I felt every warm breath, every inhale, the soft intensity of his lips moving against mine.

He kissed me like he needed me, breathing me in like oxygen.