GULMOHAR (COMPLETED)

Chapter 43

SAANCHI
✨

At times you think you know everything around you and that you are trying to control the situation...it's only later that you know that it's not you who controls the situation instead it was always the other way around. You were been controlled.

I always thought I knew everything and that I must make sure that nothing ruins Nishchay's life. I didn't want to be the third person in his life. His happiness was important. I wanted him to live his life to the fullest. So much so that I wouldn't even matter if I had to walk out of his life. But looks like at some point of time life comes to a full circle.

Right now I am at the point where I had begun.

It's just that this time I know Nishchay also had feelings for me.

Currently we were sitting in his balcony. I took the recliner while he took the bean bag. It was a star lit night with a bright shining moon. Silence prevailed. Neither he nor I uttered a word for a long time. He was gazing the sky and I couldn't take the silence any longer.

'Why didn't you tell?' I asked him however not meeting his gaze which pierced me as I asked this question.

'I can ask you the same Saanchi! Why didn't you tell?' he counter questioned.

'I already told you it was late when I realised!!!'

'And what if I tell you it wasn't?' and I was shocked.

In one go he turned around holding my shoulders he said
'I was sulking in my loneliness and pain Saanchi. I didn't know whom to share this with...your brother...my best friend was right from a career point of view but it was my first too...it induced self doubt and ignorance towards human emotions in me...I did everything to keep you away...It was getting tougher and tougher and that's when Sudeshna entered my life.

She cared for me... understood me...she also had a breakup with her fiance Jassi. She was already pissed that she was engaged to a guy when she was just 19 and wanted a reason to break the relationship and my reveal about Jassi's character gave her hope. Her father wouldn't believe but her mother was a sweetheart. She believed in me and fought with her husband so that Sudeshna gets all her happiness. Indeed she got. She and I...we found space to heal each other.

She told me to keep away from you because she believed if you were mine you would return back to me ..but...you never did.

Eventually Sudeshna's and my friendship strengthened. She became that branch of my life upon whom I could depend. I could share things with her. I didn't even know how my emotions deepened for her. But love....was tough.

I was scared. Sudeshna proposed to me as she realised her feelings for me just before Diwali. I respected her emotions but couldn't say a yes to be her boyfriend. To add on although I avoided coming to Diwali...Rithika aunty forced me and I just couldn't tell her a no. I had arrived to the Diwali party.

It wasn't easy seeing you infront of me yet not being able to feel anything but Sachin had took a word from me before he left. I couldn't break the promise. Worse to say I couldn't listen a no from you or loose your friendship. Call me a coward. In the mean time Sudeshna became my that strength who always stood as my backbone and when on Diwali night you spoke to everyone well except me. It hurt

So much so that I wanted to go back to Chandigarh the same night but Sudeshna consoled me. She stood by my darkest and that was the night when first time we came closer to each other. We kissed!

I didn't know you saw us Saanchi. But if you think I was guilty of kissing Sudeshna? No I wasn't. She was my healer. My sanity. Falling in love with Sudeshna wasn't abrupt. It was gradual.