Forgetting the Past

Chapter Thirteen: Good News or Bad News?

Clary sat up on Magnus's sofa, feeling completely disoriented. She had come here to him for help, and after using a few spells, he had told her everything. Her world was spinning. She felt lightheaded. However, her movements were steady and sluggish. Just like her words.
"Pregnant."
"Yes." Magnus told her. "You're pregnant."
If it had been anyone but Magnus, Clary would have expected him to be confused. She was having a baby with her fiancé, her soon to be husband; Jace. They were settled down in the giant Herondale manor and engaged- children were practically implied. She should not be shocked and terrified out of her wits.
But the warlock had seen enough lifetimes come and go. He knew the memory of her first daughter cut as deep as any wound at that moment.
Clary grit her teeth, still in a daze. Without locking gazes with Magnus, she said, "What do I do?"
He sighed. "You need to tell him. Jace."
She looked up at his green-yellow cat eyes that had a mischievous air even when he was dead serious. Fighting back tears, she willed herself not to cry. "What will he think?" She said in barely a whisper. "What will he say?"
Magnus lost his serious composure for a moment. "'What color should we paint the nursery?'"
"Magnus," she said. "This is serious. This is bad."
"No, Clary, it really isn't. In fact, I'll bet money Jace will be overjoyed about it."
"You think so?" She asked incredulously.
Magnus shook his head. "Can't you tell, Clary? All he's wanted since we all got back from Edom was to be with you. To settle down, get married. He thought once you were away from Sebastian," Clary cringed at his name, "that you two could finally have what you'd waited for. The rest of your lives.
"But then you... you were struggling to come back to the real world. And all he wanted was for you to be yourself again, for you to be happy."
"I ruined it, you mean," she interjected coldly. "I couldn't just- just-"
"Just go back to the way you were before?" The warlock's voice hardened. "Don't try to downsize what happened in Edom, Clary. I've seen a lot of suffering- for friends, for family, for pride, for love- and believe me, that experience goes pretty high on my list. Don't think that everything you had to go through doesn't matter now."
Clary shivered in spite of the warm apartment. "Well I'm definitely not forgetting anytime soon, that's for sure."
Looking sympathetic all of a sudden, Magnus stood and pulled Clary to her feet.
"Now, on a more upbeat note, how about we get you back to Idris, biscuit?"
She couldn't help but smile at the old nickname.
"Alright."

When Clary arrived home, it was nearing dusk. The stunning landscape was washed in the light of a golden sunset, and the horizon behind the manor was set on fire by the sun. A faint smile crossed her lips as she remembered a fire so similar and yet so much more important.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw a flash of movement in the window and realized Jace must be home. Crap. He was probably frantically worried about her whereabouts.
The front door flew open, and Jace came darting out. Despite his strained features, he was beautiful in the glowing light. His honey colored skin was even warmer than usual, and his blond hair looked as if it were strung with golden sparks. His arms, mostly bared by his black t-shirt, flexed under the skin swirled with black Marks. It was as if she were drinking in every detail of him in slow motion, time warped by the strange yet fascinating evening hour.
"Clary," he said, skidding to a stop in front of her. "Where the hell have you been?"
"I... I went to New York," she answered, finding no use in lying. "I probably should have told you first."
"No shit," he muttered, then shook his head half-apologetically. "I swear, Clary, you can be so unpredictable."
"Ya," she mumbled at the ground. The two fell silent.
Then it came back to her; You have to tell him. Dread did a somersault in her gut, and apparently her face showed it.
"What's wrong?" Jace asked. "Did something happen?"
"I..." She looked up at him, biting her lower lip. Breath, Clary, breath, she told herself. Her chest felt heavy, constricted by an invisible force. Say it. Just say-
"I'm fine." Or don't.
He eyed her skeptically for a moment, then sighed. "Alright." She hated it when he sounded so frustrated and defeated by her.
He grabbed her hand, practically pulling her back into the house. "What did you go to New York for?" He asked over his shoulder.
"I went to see Magnus," she replied, then added, "and Alec." It might've been a lie, but only visiting one of them might seem suspicious. He grunted his approval.
"How did the meeting go?" She questioned. Though Clary despised small talk, she couldn't say a lot else without betraying the newfound discovery.
He lead her through the front door and into the kitchen, where she settled herself down on a stool facing the island. "Pretty good," he replied, pulling the fixings for fried chicken out of the cupboard and icebox. "The Clave will be recruiting more mundanes to the Academy, since numbers are so low. Hopefully they'll have at least two hundred new Shadowhunters by the end of the year."
"That's great," she said. The conversation lapsed into silence once again, leaving the only noise in the room the sizzling chicken. Clary's mouth watered at the scent.
When it was ready, they are quietly. The food was fantastic, and they were quickly done. Outside, the bright sun sank below the hills and shadows were cast over the land. By the time they climbed the stairs to their room, the windows were dark and the witchlights were glowing.
Clary walked into the bedroom first, and Jace closed the door behind him. The room was dim with the blueish light, the worm wooden surfaces reflecting it's light faintly. Without warning, Jace spun her around by her elbow to face him, their bodies nearly touching. She stared up at him, wide eyed.
"You know you can tell me anything," he said, "no matter what it is. I'm here Clary, I will help you no matter what it takes."
I doubt you can help me get out of this.
But, "I know," was all she said. He sighed, the exhalation pressing his chest to hers and sending lightning bolts up her spine.
At the same moment that she brought her mouth up to his, he brought his lips down on hers. They crashed together, trying to eliminate all space between themselves. In no time at all, her hands were running through his hair and his were sliding over her waist, down to her hips.
Eventually Clary was forced to take a breath, and she pulled away. Keeping her eyes closed, she leaned her forehead against his. His hair was like rough silk in her hands; she takes her fingers through the fine, golden strands. She was breathing hard, and so was he. Somehow, sprinting across the yard couldn't wind him, but just kissing her could.
"We should probably go to bed," Clary said.
Jace chuckled low and soft. "I'm on board with that."
"To sleep," she replied, drawing back enough to look him in the eyes. He groaned.
"Just... Sleeping?"
"Yes. I'm exhausted."
"Well, so am I, but..." He waggled his eyebrows at her mischievously.
"No," she insisted stubbornly. "We are going to sleep."
"Alright, alright. But you owe me."
"Sure I do."
Clary didn't sleep well at all that night. In fact, it was probably the worst night of her life.