Forgetting the Past

Chapter Eight: A Dangerous Bargain

Clary awoke early the next morning, having given up on sleep entirely. She crept into the bathroom, trying not to disturb the still-sleeping Jace, and eased the door shut behind her.
A brief look in the mirror showed new dark marks under her eyes from lack of sleep, and the same sharp cheekbones. Clary didn't like to look in the mirror much anymore; she could see the toll everything had taken on her body physically.
Changing into some clean clothes, she headed out of the Institute. She had left a note on the bedside table for Jace.

I went out to walk around New York. I was feeling a bit homesick for the place. Please don't worry.
Clary

About half an hour later, Clary leapt once again into the empty subway tunnel. After hitting the ground with painful force, she raised her witchlight high to illuminate the space and clomped down the passage in her boots. There was no point in being sneaky now; she knew exactly what she was facing.
Clary had decided that only she would be able to stop Sebastian from doing unspeakable things, and she needed to do that before they happened. She had bargained with him before and was fairly sure she could do it again. But she would need to trod carefully or things could get ugly quick.
Clary continued to trod down the cavernous tunnel until at last she reached the platform. She took the stairs one at a time, but inside she buzzed with anxiety.
The concrete surface was burned black with the pattern of the pentagram. She shivered, though she wasn't cold, and noticed an old couch that had been pushed up against the wall. It was the kind of furniture that had probably once looked antique and fancy, but was now soiled and scarred into a pitiful state.
She sat down on the couch, lacking a better alternative, and waited. Clary knew Sebastian would come; if he could keep track of her when he was still mostly human, he would know where she was now. And he would be meeting with her.
After what seemed like hours of nervous waiting, her brother materialized in the cold witchlight. He wore the same ink-black suit and perfectly falling hair. His ever-present smirk bore down on her, and she leapt up from her seat.
"I assume you wanted to see me?" He asked casually, in the way that Princes of Hell greeted their Shadowhunter sisters.
"Yes," Clary choked out. Then silence.
"Would you please explain why?" He prodded, obviously enjoying her discomposure.
"I want to make a deal with you."
He seemed to take this in for a moment, and began to grin even bigger than before. Clary felt nauseous.
"I'm glad you've come to your senses," he replied. "But what kind of bargain are you asking for, little sister?"
Clary took a steadying breath. "I want you to leave my family and friends alone, and if you would leave me be also, that'd be great." Okay, so maybe she's come off a little bit sarcastic and irritable.
He chuckled. "These things come at a price, Clarissa."
"I'll do whatever it takes."
Sebastian folded his hands in front of him in concentration. His utter calm set Clary on edge as she waited for his reply.
"Whatever it takes?" He tested.
"Yes. I'll do anything," Clary assured him in a voice that was much more steady than it should have been.
"Would you give up your angel boy?" He asked. "Have Jace's memories of you all wiped away?" His grin was utterly wolffish.
Clary's heart stuttered in her chest. Jace, who had been through everything with her. The boy who she not only loved, but depended on; she needed him. She couldn't survive without Jace. And that was exactly what Sebastian wanted.
"No- no! There must be... There must be another way," she stuttered desperately.
He smiled slyly at her fear, but Clary could see the undercurrent of jealousy there. "Fine. The only other thing I want is you."
She stared at him for a moment before fully comprehending his words. You, he had said. He wanted her. What would he do with her? Would he repeat the things that had happened to Clary in Edom? Would he make her his slave again? Her windpipe closed up with terror and she clenched her fists tightly. The pain of her fingernails cutting into the skin cleared her head, if only slightly.
"What- what do you mean?" She asked faintly.
"After you die, I would take you to hell. You would live as my eternal bride and queen," Sebastian explained.
Clary took a shaky breath, then another. "Forever?"
"Forever," he said, grinning once again. "Those are your options, little sister."
Fear, panic, and love for her family and friends fought in her head. Before she could organize her thoughts, one of them pushed into the forefront of her mind and blurted out the answer.
Sebastian didn't look as shocked as she had expected him to. "Swear by it," he commanded.
"I swear on the Angel."
"Good," he said, grinning. "You will know when it happens." With that, he disappeared.
Not for the first time, Clary wondered, What have I done?