"The most hurtful thing about all this is that you were able to look me and my eyes everyday, smiling and laughing, knowing that you cheated on me."
Samantha James is now a football state Championship, and while she should be enjoying her celebrity...
There's a gently on the door followed by Billy voice coming through the other side, "Hey, Sam. Can I come in?" He asked softly. "I've got some good news to share, and I thought you could use a little bit of that right now."
I sit up in bed before replying, "You can come in."
Billy gently pushed open the door and entered the room, he made his way to the end of her bed and took a seat. "So, the L.A Tribune just announced their regular season awards, I've been named Division Coach of the Year, and you," he paused, a proud smile spreading across his face, "have been named Division Player of the Year. You've worked hard this season, and this award is well-deserved. I know it's been a tough time lately, but I hope this news brings a little bit of brightness to your day."
Making Player of the Year is such a big deal, and on any other occasion I would have been happy but it doesn't feel right to be happy. "That's great news, but it's just a little hard to feel happy right now, you know?"
"I understand." Billy nods his head. "I also should mention that we've been invited to a ceremony where they want to give us our awards. But if you're not up for the ceremony, given the circumstances they will understand."
"No, I'll go." I tell him. "I can't hide away in this room forever, but do I have to talk?"
"You have to give a speech, but a short one." He assures. "How you gonna celebrate your Player of Year award?"
"In church." I tell him. "Shawn's funeral this weekend."
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As I stepped out of the car, I stand in front of the church, the weight of this moment settled heavily on my shoulders. It's my first day out of the room, my first time outside, and my first return to Crenshaw since the shooting. Today is his funeral, this wasn't how things wasn't suppose to turn out, he was supposed to be living in Louisiana with his cousin eating crawfish. I know Crenshaw has claimed many lives, but it's different when you actually know the person who dies next.
"Hey," my mother's hand found mine, she looked at me with concern in her eyes. Her voice soft as she asked, "Are you sure you're up for this, baby? It's okay if you want to sit this one out. People will understand."
"I need to be here, Mom," I replied, squeezing her hand. "For Shawn."
Spencer takes my other hand. "For Shawn."
We entered the church together, opting to sit in the back, to not disturb the service by walking down the aisle to find a seat. My eyes flickers towards the front of the church, where Shawn's casket lay draped in flowers. I couldn't bring myself to face it, the thought of sitting in the front, mere feet away from the casket made my stomach churn. As the service began, I lean against Spencer's shoulder, and he wraps his arms around me.
