Butterflies of the Dark Star

THE SECOND LOOP (1)

"Nova, hey," his mirror echoed his sentiments, worthless on his own lips with no action to go along with his words. "Hey, talk to me."

No, you need to talk to her, not the other way around. He went to kick into his own back, but hesitated when Nova tore open her eyes and stared at them both. "Don't just stare at her," he hissed, and the mirror squirmed and threatened to break apart at the slightest, superficial pressure. His reality drew back from the person who needed him the most, frowning at her instead of doing anything of sustenance.

"Should I just be quiet for a minute?"

Neo found it said on his own lips, then scowled down at him. "I mean, you should shut up sometimes, but no, you should say something here, and don't say something stupid like you always do to make everything worse."

Nova patted the floor with a startled, confused whimper. On her knees, his mirror held out a bloodsoaked hand, and he flinched when she grabbed onto his arm tight, strangling it with the same intent that he wanted to do to his own neck. "You're fine?" She latched onto his cheeks.

"Ow-I'm fine."

It was a scrambled lie.

Neo blocked the vomit in his mouth when she pleaded, "Talk to me, just talk to me."

I... I can't...

"Tell me about the anomaly being a heart," she begged to his split half. "Tell me about your theories. Say anything." A horrified gasp tore through her throat when she came closer to his startled reflection. "I just need to hear something."

He wanted to send his heel into the side of his own head when the reflection uttered, "How did you know a heart was one of my theories?"

"Nice priorities," Neo growled and knelt between them. "Out of all the things you could say, that's what you go with? No bringing attention to what she's really saying? You ask her that question? It has no bearing. It doesn't mean anything — and another thing, not a heart." He hesitated on his own words. It's... something far far worse.

Nova's confusion ripped space apart. "You... the briefing? Didn't you mention it?"

"Nova..." He reached out to the expanse of space between them to cling onto her shoulder. "Come on. You're way smarter than I am. You got to see what this is... what I've done," he released his own soft sob. "I just didn't want you to be stuck in that reality anymore... but it was supposed to be me." He slammed his other fist into the mirror, to shatter it. "I thought maybe just... breaking it I could come back... and fix it." He let go of the truth, and his anger fluttered through his throat when the reflection tipped his head in fatal curiosity.

"I was planning on mentioning it but then you ran out," he said and wrapped his hand around her forearm. "Nova—"

"I don't want to talk about it," she rasped, and he found his worthlessness compounding on his shoulders when he sat with her, unable to fix his mistakes of self-sabotage. "Please don't ask."

"At least respect that request," he mumbled.

The mirror lifted his gaze in a haphazard direction, drifting over to him. "If that's what you want," the mirror muttered just as uselessly as before. "It's like you said, I theorized it was a heart, but I'm all but certain the anomaly has something to do with the D.S Butterfly."

The name sent a jolted, murderous sensation through his stomach, but he chewed on his lip. "Once again, stating the completely obvious," he said and drove his fingers into the ground. "And still missing so much. Here people thought you were smart, thought you were going places. You're not. You never were. You just masked it as such to make it mean something." He lifted his hand and longed to rip out his own heart.