Do You Trust Me? // Bucky Barnes

35

Bucky

The water had long since turned a tepid sort of cold, one that should have drawn shivers from their skin, but the warmth of her resting in his arms kept Bucky from moving. Ava had said little since telling him she loved him. She hadn't asked questions he knew she had, and she hadn't told him how she was feeling about everything that had transpired, and for a moment Bucky let a wave of guilt wash over him as he considered the way their reunion had unfolded.

Nuzzling his face into the skin of her neck, he sighed quietly and her hands ran over his arms, gently stroking out the tension forming beneath his skin.

"What's wrong?" She murmured, her eyes closed and her body relaxed.

"Nothing." He hated the way the word felt like a lie. In this moment it was true. Nothing was wrong. How could it be when he had the love of a woman he knew he could never really deserve? How could anything be wrong when she was wrapped up in him and him in her? But outside of the bubble enveloping them was a truth that was crawling to get between them. It was clawing at the floorboards and scratching at the door. It was tapping its emaciated fingers against the air that felt too thin and too far and waiting for them to let it into their consciousness so that it could tear everything apart, and Bucky feared it. He feared what the truth could do to them... What it would do to her.

She moved out of his hold, reaching for the towel that hung beside the tub and standing, and Bucky watched, enraptured, as she wrapped the soft white material around her and stepped out of the water. She didn't need to speak. Her eyes did that for her.

She looked to him, wide onyx eyes drawing him in, as a thousand thoughts flickered across her face. He watched as understanding dawned in the depth of her darkness, and as fear and confusion nestled in and made a home in the specks of grey that hid in all the deepest shades of black and brown. He watched as a desperate agony started to slip into existence and weave between the questions she wasn't asking and her lips tipped in a sad sort of smile.

He stood too, stepping out after her and wrapping a towel low on his hips. She held her hand out for him and he took it immediately. He let her lead him to her bedroom with no words and he watched as she pulled on some jeans and a t-shirt... His t-shirt from the first days of her staying with his family. His heart squeezed with pride looking at her like that.

"We gonna talk about it yet, baby?" He sat on the edge of the bed, still watching her as her movements stilled and she scrunched her wet hair with a towel.

The t-shirt clung to her skin in patches of damp and she turned slowly to avoid his eyes, the movement subtle and small, but noticeable all the same.

"What if it's true?" Her voice was barely a whisper, barely a sound, and Bucky ached to hold her, but he didn't move. "What if it's true and Teddy's out there, Bucky? What do... What do we do?"

"Ava - "

"What if she wasn't lying and I - Bucky, I killed her." She choked the last three words as her hand cupped in front of her mouth, muffling her cry. "I killed her and she went limp in my arms and she didn't... she can never tell me where my brother is, Buck. What if he's out there suff-suffering because of... because I... Oh God."

As her knees buckled, Bucky stood and reached for her, dragging her towards him and holding her together as sobs racked through her body and tremors tore her to shreds. She clung to him as she splintered and frayed at the seams, and Bucky rocked her gently, stroking her hair and cradling her close.

When her cries quietened and her tears slowed, he whispered against her hair.

"I know someone. She's going to help, okay? She's going to find stuff out for you, baby. If it's true, she'll tell us and we'll find him. We will find him, Ava. I promise you that."