Charlie Zsaz whips down the Chicago City Freeway in a Halloween-orange convertible, going at least thirty miles over the speed limit.
The radio is blaring something loud, fast, and angry. There is a bottle of expensive whiskey in his hand. And a young woman's bobbing head in his lap.
"What did you say your name was, again?" Charlie yells over the music.
The young woman starts to pulls her head up from his crotch.
Charlie laughs, and forces her back down again with the bottom of the whiskey bottle.
"I'm just kidding. I don't care."
CRASH!
Zsaz jumps at the sound of something heavy (and wet?) slamming itself into his windshield.
"What the fuck?" He screams.
The window spider-webs into a thousand pieces of broken glass.
Zsaz clicks on the windshield wipers to help get the foreign object out of the middle of the glass, so he can see where the Hell he's going.
The wipers drag the bloody mass of hollow bones and black fur across the broken glass of the windshield, staining the entire thing a deep red-- and making it even more impossible to see through.
Another bat hits the car's front-left tire. Its impossibly-sharp teeth puncture the rubber, causing a loud "Pop" as the air escapes.
"What is going on?" Charlie's date screams through tears, as Charlie swerves to avoid hitting another bat.
Charlie doesn't say anything to comfort her. He grits his teeth and yanks hard on the steering wheel to avoid hitting another kamikaze-bat.
The car flips.
The woman cries.
Szaz blacks out.
YOU ARE READING
The Vampire Bat Man
VampireA suicidally-bored Dracula accidentally saves Chicago's wealthiest family from a would-be-mugger, and decides to commit to the bit of playing a "superhero". Featuring Easter Egg references to some of the greatest public domain characters in all of G...
