Morale Compass (ON HOLD)

Letting in

"It was beautiful. They pulled me over to the us side and I got your actual game worn jersey from your game. We then had to delay the game for 20 minutes as everybody was crying to hard to play. Chappman was heartbroken. Her only memory was almost breaking your ankle. Sinc was distraught. All of the rooming assignments were the same." She takes a moment to compose herself. "I'm sorry I don't mean to make you feel bad."

"Don't worry. I won't to hear about." I really didn't but Jessie needs to get it off her chest and I would be here to listen.

"I've never seen sinc drink so much in my life. Through all the highs and lows I've never seen her so heartbroken. She went to the store and bought two cases of Budweiser; she literally hates Budweiser. And drank all 24 by herself while saying 'she was supposed to come Portland' over and over."

"I'm sorry. But On a brighter note I'll be at the World Cup to cheer you guys on. Since we have international break I'll talk with Emma about it but I want to be there with you, and it doesn't look like Finland will make it anytime soon."

"With you they have a shot".

"They've always had a shot".

"If you could be there that would be great".

"Good because I already have my ticket and hotel room."

"I graduated." (Yes I know the timeline is skewed but who cares.)

"I saw." I state rubbing her back.

"How?"

"UCLA did a live stream for all the parents who couldn't make the trip so I logged on watched the two hours for them to say your name".

"Dedication".

"Yup. So May I get my jersey back?" I say tapping her shoulder.

"You can look but you can't take". She says scurrying off into her closet and pushing aside a few hangers and lifting the plaque from the wall. She sets it on the bed, I take my place next to her and look at it. The jersey was displayed in the middle and to one side was photos of me on my first and only cap on the other side was photos of Ashlyn and Ali giving the plaque to Jessie, another photo was Kelley and Hope embraces Jessie while photos of my first cap was being showed via a slide show on the megatron. The last photo was her crying holding the plaque while both teams formed a semi circle around the girl, Sinclair and Kelley are on either side with their arms wrapped around Jessie's mid section.

"I'm so sorry." I state pulling the younger girl into my chest.

"Stop saying I'm sorry". She says slamming her fist into my chest. Her hot tears run down her face and onto my chest as her body shakes. I just hold her and gently rock her side to side as I rub small patterns onto her back. Within ten minutes she pulls herself together and wipes her eyes. "Can you hang it back up?" She questions with a few cracks in her voice. I nod and walk the plaque back into the closet and place it on the hooks before waking back to her and carrying her to the bed. Even though it was the afternoon we fell asleep in each others embrace .

Jessie fell asleep faster then I did. I whispered a quick "I love you" before kissing her head and trying to fall asleep. It does come after time. Mostly being kept awake by the fear of Jessie blowing my cover, but I could never not let her in. The little red headed Canadian had worked her way into my heart and wasn't going to leave without a fight.

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We both wake up in a fright as multiple people burst through the door to her room before they fall silent. Their noise had been enough to wake both of us. I quickly put in my glasses and look around at the 15 or so people piled around the door. I quickly shake it off and climb out of bed walking to where my suit is hung up. I drop my shorts and pull on my dress pants and put on my socks before pulling on the white undershirt and the button down. I button up my shirt and tuck it into the fitted pants. I run my belt through its loops and start to tie my tie. Once it's in a classical Windsor knot I grab the suit jacket and shrug it over my broad shoulders. As I dress none of the women dare to utter a word just staring at me in a skeptical manner as Jessie blushes a bright red as she tugs on a hoodie over her UCLA bruins shirt.

"Kann ich dir helfen?" [May I help you?] I question forcing the thick German accent.

Ann katrin berger steps forward "Ich dachte du wärst Amerikaner?" [I thought you were American]

"Ich bin in Amerika geboren, aber Deutsch und Finnisch sind meine Hauptsprachen. Mein Englisch ist wackelig." [i was born in America but german and finnish are my primary languages my english is shakey.] she stares back puzzled but refuses to push it.

"es ist schön, mit dir zu spielen und nicht gegen dich" [it's nice to play with you rather than against you]

I just chuckle as everyone looks on confused obviously not understanding the German language.  "Why are you guys here?" Jessie comments from her spot next to the right side of the bed.

"Just wanted to invite the newbie out for drinks." Jessie shoots me a look asking if I'm up for it, I nod allowing her to focus her attention back onto the group.

"Alright let's head out. But give me a second to put on jeans and a better shirt." Jessie says causing the group to leave the room. Once everybody exits I shut and lock the door.

"That was close". I exhale as I walk behind her and softly embrace her.

"It's fine. If they ask I'll just say you were homesick."

"That works. And what you are wearing is fine."

"Well I have to at least make an effort when you are in a full suit."

"I wish I could be in shorts but these were the rules of new life. Now get dressed so they don't suspect anything." I state before pulling away from her and exiting the room.

"You got the hots for Jeffrey?" Sam Kerr states punching me lightly in the shoulder. I shake my head in a confused manner. Jessie comes out soon after. Jessie gets pulled to the front of the group as we walk from the complex to a near by bar. I walk in the back not really wanting to socialize. Everybody gets that, most probably not knowing if I would be able to communicate with them fully.

We walk into a bar about 3 blocks from the complex and we all order our separate drinks. I grab a simple whiskey and perch myself at a table. By my third drink Jessie comes up obviously dancing the line of tipsy and pulls me out of the booth. "Let's dance." She states pulling me to the middle of the group. What started off as innocent, friendly dancing soon turns to much more. Her backs on my front as she swivels her hips in a circular motion. I match the rhythm she sets as the rest of the team cheers us on, all of them probably shocked at the way the shy girl was acting around me.

After the song ends I spin her around into my chest. "I need a drink, you?" I whisper into her ear.

"I'm going to stay here. Get your drink and come find me." I nod and head to the bar. I order another drink and finish it quickly before walking back to the circle. What I didn't expect to see was some dude physically restraining Jessie trying to make a move. I walk up to him and place my hand on his shoulder. He shrugs off my hand. I place it back on his shoulder with more force then the last time. "What the fuck is your issue?" He shouts turning away from Jessie and shoving me. I lean in close so no one here's me speak perfect English. "You touch her I kill you." I state my natural accent coming out.

"What are you going to do you little cunt". He says shoving me hard in the chest.

I don't verbally respond only grabbing his arm and twisting it behind his back. "What am I going to do." I whisper in his ear as pull a little more, almost challenging his shoulder to dislocate.

"Come on man she was practically begging for it." He says cocky eye fucking Jessie from her spot on the wall. Thankfully a bouncer comes towards me and grabs the man wordlessly carrying him out of the bar. I walk up to Jessie who hasn't moved since I removed him and embrace her. Within a minute she is sobbing, I pick her up and find Sam. "Hey I'm taking home". I say forcing the harsh German accent. Sam nods as I carrying Jessie out of the bar and back to our place.

We make it back in one piece. We change into our night clothes and climb in bed. Neither of us fall asleep quickly, we both just stare at the ceiling. I don't know how Jessie feels but I love just feeling her body next to mine, not even in the sexual way I just like her being close to me. Thankfully sleep does come and rather quickly to me. I slip off to dreamland where memories of my past and the uncertainty of my future weight heavily on the dream.

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Just a week and a half until I get out. And a little personal update my father got worse so I am his primary care taker as well as prepping for finals so don't expect anything big for a little bit.