Artistry of Love (Abstract Series #3)

Chapter 22

"Sure ka na okay ka lang? Pwede ka naman naming ihatid pauwi." Sheena showed me a troubled expression as she clung to her boyfriend's arm.

Agad akong umiling. "I can handle myself." I'm not interested in playing a supporting role in them. We had made plans to hang out a few days prior, and I had no idea she would bring her boyfriend.

"We insist, Ely. Delikado kung magco-commute ka kasi gabi na," singit naman ni Eron, ang boyfriend ni Sheena. He was a classmate of ours in high school, and who thought they would end up together?

"Okay lang talaga." Knowing me, the thing I despised the most was causing inconvenience to others. Sobrang layo pa ng pupuntahan nila sa subdivision namin kaya hassle talaga kung ihahatid pa nila ako.

Sa huli, walang ibang nagawa si Sheena kundi magpaubaya sa katigasan ng ulo ko. I simply promised to text her when I returned home. She even threatened to denounce me to the authorities if I didn't text within an hour. Parang tanga talaga.

Umupo na lang ako sa bus stop para hintayin ang susunod na bus. I would feel a lot more comfortable commuting in a crowd than by myself in a taxi.

Kinuha ko ang phone ko at sinuot ang earphone para makinig ng music habang naghihintay. Even at night, Quezon is as loud as ever. I felt secure because of the street lamps and different shades from tall buildings. Nasanay kasi akong mag-isa lang palagi, lalo na ngayon na umuwi si manang sa probinsya. Knowing that I will be alone when I return home is depressing, yet being in the midst of this bustling metropolis warms my heart with happiness. Pakiramdam ko hindi ako mag-isa kahit wala namang pakialam ang mga taong nakapalibot sa akin.

I was staring at the opposite side of the road when my attention dropped on Trip and Achi, who were now casually chatting. Hindi naman imposibleng makita ko sila pero sa lahat ng pagkakataon, bakit ngayon pa? I'm already lonely, and seeing them enjoy each other's company has only added to my loneliness.

Kalaunan ay nakita ko silang naglalakad papunta sa isang sasakyan na sigurado akong pagmamay-ari ni Trip. My heart clenched in pain when I saw them sliding inside.

Where did we go wrong? I know we started out alright
Where did we go wrong? I swear I knew we'd last this time
Where did we go wrong? Oh, did you, did you change your mind?
How could you change your mind? Who got inside your mind?

Natawa ako sa sarili ko. Even the song was making fun of me. I know it's my decision to keep us apart, yet I let myself bleed to leave a scar on the wound. Hindi naman naging kami ni Trip pero sobra ang dulot niya sa akin. It seems absurd to me to move on when there is no relationship to forget.

Dumaan ang mga linggo at mas napapansin ng mga tao ang pagiging close ni Trip at Achi sa isa't isa. They looked good together, which is difficult to acknowledge. Kuya Cy was usually standing nearby, watching them. Perhaps he was too afraid to admit his feelings for Achi. Ako naman, nasanay na ang puso ko na makita sila. Siguro kaya ako ganito kasi sanay akong laging mag-isa kaya tuwing may nawawala sa buhay ko, madali ko lang natatanggap.

Damn.

I wish it was that simple to say. To be honest, everything has been complicated. Trip left such an impression on me that even my soul couldn't forget the solace he provided. Ang tanga ko. Nasaktan niya ako pero parang gusto kong sumugal.

Perhaps I was afraid of unraveling the past, which is why the wounds couldn't mend. Gusto kong masagot lahat ng mga tanong ko. Bakit niya nagawa sa akin 'yon? He knew how hard I worked to establish my barriers, but he tore them down along with my heart. Gusto kong malaman kung bakit niya ako nagawang paglaruan.

"Shopping?"

Tinanggal ko ang mga mata mula kay Trip at Achi bago iyon tinuon kay Keith. Nasa field kami at naglatag lang ng mat na pwedeng hiramin sa faculty. It's lunch time, and Keith brought a lot of food and shared it with me. Ilang araw na siyang busy at ngayon lang kami ulit nag-usap.