Artistry of Love (Abstract Series #3)

Chapter 9

I snapped a picture of the cheesecake Sheena gave me and shared it on my Instagram story, tagging her and adding "thanks" in the description. She immediately replied.

sheenababes:

welcome, pic nga ng marriage certificate niyo ni Trip.

Sumama ang mood ko. She has a knack for getting on my nerves. I simply put my phone down and proceeded to eat the cheesecake. Iba talaga ang tama sa akin ng sweets!

I went through some of the lessons I had already studied. Wala naman akong ginagawa at hindi pa ako inaantok. My phone beeps while I was highlighting the relevant passages. I discovered it was a Facebook notification when I glanced at it.

Eyana Sandra Cabrera updated her profile picture.

Namilog ang mga mata ko nang nabasa iyon. Mom hasn't updated her profile picture in years. I didn't waste any time and immediately clicked the notification.

My lips instinctively smiled when I noticed how enthusiastic she appeared in the photo. She was clothed in a red loose wave dress with a white spiral strap and stiletto heel that was just high enough to complement her height. Nakatayo ang Eiffel tower sa likod niya.

My mother seems to be having a good time. To react to the image, I pressed the heart button. Gusto ko sanang magcomment pero baka mainis lang si mommy. Nakita kong may nagcomment na lalaki na kaedad lang ni mommy.

You looked young. Do you have a child of your own?

I won't mind if she finds a new partner in life because I've seen how much she's been through over the years. Seeing me simply served to remind her of how she had lost her life's love. Deserve niyang maging masaya.

Nakita kong may reply siya sa comment kaya agad ko iyong tiningnan. My lips trembled after reading her response. My heart started to constrict, prompting tears to well up in my eyes. Hindi man lang nagbago ang mukha ko. Blangko pero may luha na tumutulo.

No. I don't have a child.

Does she despise me so much that she refuses to acknowledge me as her daughter? Kasi ako, kahit ilang ulit niya pa akong pagsalitaan ng masama, hindi ako mahihiyang sabihin sa ibang tao na siya ang mommy ko.

Pumikit ako ng mariin at kahit nanginginig ang kamay, sinubo ko pa rin ang cheesecake na nasa tinidor. I was expecting it to lend a hand in loosening me up, but it didn't. When was she going to quit torturing me? Or do I have to understand that this is how we will always be? Na hindi na kailanman maibabalik kung ano kami noon.

Mas lalo kong binilisan na isubo ang cheesecake para matuon ang atensyon ko doon kasi alam ko na kung papakinggan ko na naman ang laman ng utak ko, I would end up dead now.

My attention strayed to my phone, where I discovered that she had added another reply to the comment. Mas lalo lang nabasag ang puso ko.

She's already dead.

Marahas kong binagsak ang tinidor at nilapitan ang cabinet ko. Just in case our helpers would clean my room, I placed the cutter in a secure location. I don't want anyone to figure out what's going on. I don't want people to realize how rotten I really am on the inside. I just want to die and be free of this misery behind my mask.

Walang humpay ang mga luha ko sa pagtulo habang tinatanggal ang takip ng cutter. If I disappeared, no one would grieve. Actually, no one gives a damn. Sobrang hypocrite ko lang talaga. Kasi sa kabila ng ilang ulit kong pag-iisip na mag-isa ako, umaasa pa rin akong may dumating at isalba ako sa mundong ginawa ko para sa sarili ko. I yearn for someone to reach out and pull me out of the hole I've created for myself, but I've come to know that I'm the only one I have. My only constant companion was myself.