The Everburning City

Act 1, Part 6, Chapter 22

Roderick

Burying Decklan felt like opening a wound he didn't know he had. All the pain that lurked just behind his thoughts poured out like a poorly maintained sewer line. He felt sick, he broke into sweat despite the cold, and he might have wandered out into the field aimlessly if Candice hadn't lead him back to the medical car.

Candice sat with him for what felt like hours. Even as Miss Eridwen's crew worked around them; transforming the car one set of sterilized tools or rearranged piece of furniture at a time, she sat with him and stared out at the window, seeing absolutely nothing. No words spoken, no affections exchanged, just a firm grip on his hand as the City marched along without him.

It meant everything to Roderick. Candice, taking this moment to stay with him, despite all of them having something more important to do, had given him a gift that eventually left him light on his feet and eager to move. Not that anything he felt hurt less, more that he was better prepared to feel it. And endure.

"I have to think differently about you, now," Candice said, as Roderick belted on his sword again. His sword, along with the heavy belt, Salamander, and his scarf, were resting in a nearby corner. He hadn't been willing to wear that gear, the equipment of a soldier and a mark of the Army's elite, until he was ready to be seen again.

"Why is that?" Roderick asked.

"You used to be safe." Candice rested her head on his shoulder as she spoke, so he couldn't see her expression. "Just two days ago, I liked you well enough, but there was no way you could be anything other than an idle fling."

"Hey, don't wound me," Roderick protested, but weakly. He made no move to push her off his shoulder. "The Gloamtaken do enough of that."

"Oh, it's not your fault. It's the rarified air I live in. My parents expect me to be someone who can maintain the family's place in High Central. Be someone, and marry someone who won't hurt my chances. A delinquent in a remedial work-camp definitely didn't fit the bill, so even yesterday you were safe. I didn't have to worry about taking you seriously, or even taking myself seriously when I was with you. I didn't have to worry about you in my future, because there was nothing between us that would have survived our time at camp."

"Unless I had knocked you up," Roderick said. Candice wasn't wrong about her assessment. Knowing her had been a lot of fun in earlier days, but part of the appeal was they didn't expect anything of each other. Because they couldn't.

"True. But even then, I doubt that would have been enough. Besides, Gwen once said part of the point of these work camps was to help keep the population up," Candice said, as she nestled in a little closer. "But things have changed."

"Not really sure being a private in the army changes things," Roderick said.

"That isn't when things changed. For me, it was the moment you stepped between the rest of us and the Gloamtaken, even though you didn't even have a knife."

"That was pretty stupid," Roderick agreed. "And if I'm being honest, it wasn't about doing it for you. Not you specifically, it could have been anyone behind me. I just couldn't think of doing anything else."

"I know. And the fact that it didn't have to be me makes it matter even more. Even if it was just that, I'd be thinking about trying to keep you despite whatever my parents wold say. But what makes you dangerous is the fact that you joined up."

"I don't think a private in the army is going to impress them much," Roderick noted.

"If you were just a private, sure. But you're also the youngest living member of the Cadavalan Rangers. Your lieutenant earned a sobriquet from Captain Dremora himself. Your sergeant is Valen burning Redgrave. Even if you laid down in barracks and slept through the rest of this invasion, there's a chance your likeness will be on the Fifth Tapestry. As far as my parents will be concerned, you're a catch."