The show must go on

Chapter 5 - doctor's visit

"Jadey, good to see you back," Leigh says cheerfully, but Jade doesn't really hear her and just nods with a tired smile as she puts on her backpack, being watched critically by Perrie.

"Do you want me to drive you?" she asks Jade, still a bit worried. But she just shakes her head, knowing full well that Perrie lives in a completely different direction and she doesn't want to be a burden to another band member.

When she gets home, she feels all the cold symptoms again with full force, so that after the taxi ride she barely makes it to the couch before she almost collapses and has to lie there for a full hour to recover.

The next few days are exactly like that. She takes two pills every morning and feels neither her back nor her other aches and pains. She rehearses, she dances, she sings without a care in the world. But, when she arrives home, she feels just as bad as before and can hardly stand on her feet. She can hardly take care of herself. Accordingly, her flat is still a mess and so she repeatedly refuses offers to come over or to be driven home so that no one gets the idea that she is faking her wellbeing.

But thanks to the medication, she was able to carry on normally with everything for at least half the day, which is why there was so much worry and anxiety on her side when she only has one pill left two days before her flight to Los Angeles. She quickly goes into gasps as the panic rears. How is she supposed to survive a rehearsal, a performance or even a whole tour without the apparent miracle drugs? Knowing full well that she has actually been taking way more than she should have, she knows that she can't go to the same doctor. He would only end up telling the label or management about the still persistent pain and her apparent addiction to these pills. So she frantically calls different doctors in the morning until she finally finds one who has an appointment free for her that day in the afternoon. This means that she has to leave the rehearsal early and come up with some empty excuse. But as long as this is the only way she can get through a show, she has no other choice.

"Miss Thirlwall, right?" the doctor asks her as Jade takes a seat in her office, a little nervous. Doctor offices always have that effect on her, no matter which one.

"Yeah," she answers curtly, folding her hands together in her lap so that the trembling can't be noticed. Right now seems to be the time when the effect of the medication wears off and she just wants to fall back into bed.

"What brings you here?" the doctor asks, and unlike her predecessor, she watches Jade closely.

Jade swallows briefly, a little unsettled by the doctor's look, but she decides to get the appointment over with quickly and explains more or less honestly: "I had severe back pain last week during a dance rehearsal and the doctor told me I had pinched a nerve and prescribed me pills, but unfortunately they are empty now. But the pain still hasn't gone away and I urgently need new ones. My actual doctor is on holiday, so that's why I'm here."

"Do you have these pills with you?" the doctor asks as she looks at Jade sceptically, whereupon she pulls out the package with shaky hands and hands it over. She watches as the doctor studies the packaging.

"You got the pills last week, you said?" she asks cautiously, whereupon Jade feels a little caught and struggles to swallow the lump in her throat.