total drama oneshots(Discontinued)

Perfect: Duncan x reader#3 Tw down below

TW: this chapter contains body dysmorphia issues/body image issues/ implied Eating disorder/self harm. I suggest skipping this chapter if one or more of these topics trigger you.

A/N:This one is for all my trans males out there, were pretty hot y'know.👀Please don't make fun of people who go through things like this, They are dealing with hard stuff.

Today you woke up feeling pretty tired and depressed as always, maybe it was the fact that you hadn't eaten in what seemed like almost a week but you didn't pay mind to that. You looked outside and it was still dark outside, not completely though. Your boyfriend Duncan was still sound asleep in your cabin bed. You kissed him on the head and stood up, Looking in the cabin window you could see your reflection. You didn't dare look at it more than a few seconds. It disgusted you to even look at yourself, you felt out of place in your own body. The feeling of disgust resied in your mouth as you remembered the image of your body. You and duncan had never held hands before, sure you guys slept in the same bed sometimes but you wouldn't let him cuddle you. You guys had only started dating recently but even with your longer term partners you denied them hugs and other things until you were completely comfortable, which only drove them away before you could open up. As you stared at your sleeping boyfriend you couldn't help but start tearing up, you thought about how everything you've been doing could drive him away. Nevertheless even when you tried to cuddle him or hold his hand it always filled you with a sick grimy feeling. Your body wasn't perfect and it was not the one you wished you were in either. Everytime you made even the slightest body contact with duncan the disgust of your own body always came back, sometimes it even made you throw up. You decided to try and calm down so you grabbed your camera out your bag. The bandages on your arm were revealed as you did so, one night when your teammates were celebrating a win of a challenge outside the cabin you had gotten into a really bad mindset which made you self harm, your "tool" had went deeper than you anticipated making a large amount of blood come out fo your arm. Luckily you had wondered into the kitchen and while you were looking for some bandages chef found you. He looked at your arm, then at you, instead of saying anything he just walked you to an area you had never seen before, it was quite nice. He bandaged you up, pat you on the head and sent you back on your way to the cabin. That day made you really appreciate chef, he was like another dad to you. As you took a photo of just the simple things in your room, your mood had already increased. As you aimed the camera at duncan he had been sitting up and his eyes were open staring at you it freaked you at a bit because you hadn't noticed earlier.

"What is my Sugarplum doing up so early? Duncan kept his eyes on you, they didn't linger for a second. Yours sure did though.

You couldn't help but look at his shirtless body, he was a very hot guy and you never got used to seeing him shirtless. You wondered how he could sleep in that pointy choker though.

"I know I'm pretty good looking but are you trying to stare a whole into me?" Duncan smirked as he spoke, his ego was clearly boosted.

"I'm your boyfriend, I should be able to stare a whole into you all I want." You laid back on the floor.

"Well will my boyfriend let me kiss him? Just once?" Duncan went over to the floor and sat by you.

You didn't reply, to be honest you weren't sure what to say in repsonse to that. Duncan had tried multiple times to get touchy and kissy but each time you backed out. Just as you were about about to get up he started to tickle you, making your burst into laughter. He kept ticlking you and had gotten on top of you to do so. He smirked at his successful attempt of making you laugh, then he got closer to you. He was clearly leaning in for a kiss but yet again you had pushed him away. He seemed to be very angry at this, he had never gotten angry before just a bit annoyed and disappointed.

"Why do you always push me away? Do you even like me?" Duncan crossed his arms as you got up off the floor.

"I do! It's just that I'm not ready.." you couldn't face duncan so instead you stared at the floor.

"Not ready? People have gotten way father than us when dating for a couple weeks." Duncan's tone indicated he was obviously more than a little mad.

"I'm sorry." You mumbled out still looking at the floor.

Duncan walked up to you prompting you to look up at him, he grabbed your shoulders pulling you in and kissed you. You quickly pushed him away.

"Didn't I tell you I wasn't ready?-" your voice got more hostile then wavered.

"I'm sorry babe I couldn't help myself." Duncan did not seem remorseful about his actions at all

Just as you got ready to shout at him the realization that he touched you and pressed his lips on yours hit. Many thoughts ran through your head, was he gonna leave you now? Did he think your body was even more disgusting than before. You teared up and sat down on the floor, trying to scratch your arm but only scraping your nails against the bandage. Duncan sat down in front of you.

"I-im sorry I didn't think you'd get so upset." Duncan spoke with sincerity and his eyes drifted to your bandaged arm.
"What happend? Duncan seemed to want to comfort you but didn't know exactly how.

You started crying even harder at this point. Why wasn't Duncan leaving, surely he thought you were disgusting. Duncan reached out to you, he went to hold your hand but then stopped.

"Babe please tell me what's wrong? I can help." Duncan pleaded with you.

"Why are you still here?" You looked at him with tears in your eyes.

"Why wouldn't I be? I wouldn't just leave you crying on the floor." Duncan stayed on the floor with you as you tried to calm down.

"I-I'm sorry for freaking out like that." You looked over at duncan who was now beside you.
"It's just that.." you tried your best to muster up the courage to tell him about your "issues."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Duncan talked to you with a hint of sadness in his voice.

After taking a deep breath you started to speak.

"I have problems with people touching me, as you could probably tell. The reason for it is that I feel-," you tried your hardest not to cry as you spoke.

"The thing is that I am disgusted with myself, when I look in the mirror and see myself it disgusts me. I wish I could just be someone else, I hate my body and everything about it. Im sorry you had to touch something so incredibly disgusting Oh! And this um bandage on my arm, t-that's from self harm." You managed to fully speak without crying and it actually fell really good to vent to someone for once. Duncan wasn't speaking so you looked over at him, he was crying and staring at you, it suprised you a bit.

"Hey I think I should be the one crying here." You wiped off the tears from his cheek as your eyes watered.

"I'm sorry." Duncan replied and looked at the ground.

"For?" You stared at him.

"Being like this. I-I didn't know you felt like that." Duncan rested his head on his knees.

"It's okay. Like you said, you didn't know." As you spoke your hand managed to slightly touch his. You guys slowly went to holding pinkies. Duncan looked at you and smiled.

"I love you." Duncan spoke as he stared lovingly at you.

"I love you too." You smiled back and you guys sat just like that for what seemed like hours.

You found someone who would stay with you. No matter your issues, Someone who made you smile a the time.

A/N: end scene ❤ if you guys are ever going through something like this just rember that you're not alone. Try to find help whether that be therapy or something else. Something safe! If your scared to tell your parents about your issues it's better to speak up and try to get some help then not at all. If your parents do not provide help then try to research about some good options for your issues, research healthy options! Love you bye! Mwah 030