The show must go on

Chapter 1 - I don't feel good

"Is Jade already asleep?", I hear Jesy ask, but I am far too exhausted to join in the conversation in any way.

I notice Leigh-Anne come closer and stare at me for a few seconds before she says, "I think so."

"Should we be worried?", I hear Perrie whisper and for a very brief moment my heart warms up.

"I don't think so. Jet lag and the whole Jed thing...it's normal for her to be tired," Jesy replies calmly.

"You're probably right," Perrie says. "Just hope she hasn't caught something on top of that. We don't have time for that." And the warm feeling was gone again, whereupon I ignore further conversation and quickly fall asleep.

"Jade," I hear my name softly. But I barely notice it and don't react in the slightest.

"Babe, we're here," I hear Perrie's soft voice, feel her touch my arm and try to ignore the tingling sensation that immediately rises. But I simply cannot open my heavy eyes.

I hear noises, know exactly that the fans are waiting for us to get out of the car with genuine, happy smiles ready to sign autographs. But at that moment, exhaustion overcomes me so much that I can barely move. I can even feel tears starting to well up.

"Jade," Perrie says louder this time and I feel her hands on my cheeks, whereupon I almost forget to breathe. This is the closest we've been in a long time. With great difficulty, I finally open my eyes and look into Perrie's ocean-blue ones, staring at me with concern.

"We're here," she repeats, eyeing me closely. I just nod wearily, knowing full well that I couldn't form a word right now even if I tried. I am about to move towards the door when Perrie stops me. Confused, I look at her before she hands me my sunglasses.

"You look pretty beat up," she explains.

Without comment, I put the glasses on, take Perrie's offered hand, knowing full well that I'm rather wobbly on my feet at the moment, and let her pull me out of the car. As I see the fans waving energetically and hear them cheering, I swallow briefly and plaster my smile on my face, hoping to somehow get through this day.

When we finally get to the hotel room and I take a look in the mirror, I know what Perrie meant earlier. My skin is terribly pale, my dark circles are more obvious than ever, my forehead is a little sweaty. I just look sick. And come to think of it, I feel sick too, to which I panic again and have the hectic schedule in my head. I can't be sick, there's no time to be sick. So I take a deep breath and try to calm down. Nothing a little sleep can't fix. Glancing at my phone, I see that it's already eleven o'clock at night.

"What time do we have to get up tomorrow?", I ask quietly into the room.

"Four am," Leigh replies, just as excited as I am. I groan loudly and literally fall into bed, quickly feeling a hand on my back. We each have our own rooms, but we usually sleep together in one. Normally I always look forward to our little sleepover parties, but today I actually wished to be alone and just have my peace and quiet. And I know that I still have to take off my make-up, that I should probably take a shower or that I should at least change my clothes. But at this moment I just don't have the strength to move anymore.

"Jade?", I hear Perrie say softly.

"Huh?", I breathe barely audible.

"Aren't you at least going to put on your pyjamas?" she asks with a laugh.

I don't budge but whisper instead, "Too tired," and notice my eyes getting more heavy. But Perrie doesn't seem to want to accept it and suddenly grabs me by the arm to pull me up. A little harder than she planned, making me groan a little.

"Sorry, babe, but you're getting the whole bed dirty with your makeup," she explains, pulling me up and pushing me into the bathroom. I feel like a zombie, barely aware of my own movements as I try to wipe my makeup off as quickly as possible. I know I should take a shower, I know I would feel better afterwards. But I just can't bring myself to do it right now. So a few moments later I return to the room, my make-up mostly gone, and without comment I put on my pyjamas with rather shaky hands, not realising Perrie's worried look.

And without another word, I fall back into bed and this time fall asleep immediately without being disturbed, fervently hoping to wake up a little more refreshed.

Unfortunately, that hope was in vain. I must have been sleeping so soundly that I didn't even hear the alarm clock. Normally I am always the first to wake up and shake everyone else awake. Today Perrie of all people has to wake me.

"Jade, come on, you should have been up ten minutes ago, move your ass!" she says loudly and pulls the covers off me. As I slowly sit up, an unfamiliar dizziness immediately overcomes me, which I quickly try to blink away as I keep my eyes closed and take a deep breath.

"Jade, either you get up now or I'll pull you out of the bed myself!", Jesy yells at me then and I squint my eyes a little as a sudden headache hits me.

"I'm coming," I breathe barely audible and stand up like in slow motion because the mere movement makes me dizzy again.

Slowly I creep into the bathroom, just quickly brushing my teeth and washing my face, noticing that I have even less colour in my face than yesterday. And as much as I wanted to ignore this possibility, I realise at the mere sight of my face that I indeed got sick. But there is no time for that, I can't let a little cold ruin the whole schedule. So I put cold water on my face again before finally getting back to the room, quickly putting the sunglasses on my nose to hide the dark circles under my eyes.

So here it is. First chapter of a rather long story. Even if only one person reads this and actually likes it, it would mean the world to me if you'd let me now! :)