Flames Between Us (bxb) | ✔

Chapter Forty

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MICAH BLEU

Over the last week Weston and I have been trying to get things back to normal. We had a lot of things to talk about, especially how Weston attempted to cope during our time apart. I realised how much I hurt him, how much I took him for granted, pushing him away and forgetting about every little thing he's ever done for me.

Without Weston I'd be a mess of a man. He grounds me, he keeps me sane and he keeps me safe.

I had dark hatred for myself for shunning him away like he was nothing to me.

I should have heard him out, even though I knew that he didn't do it. I felt like he couldn't trust me and that's the number one priority in a relationship, trust. I want nothing more than for him to feel like he can tell me anything without worrying what I'd think.

That's what upset me the most and now I understand that when I'm sad, I make emotionally dangerous and erratic decisions.

I'm just lucky Weston stuck around for as long as he did. He could have easily been done with my behaviour and even that thought makes me feel sick.

When I stepped foot back in Weston's apartment, I almost fainted at the waft of his smell. The smell that has made me feel at home every time I've stayed over. It's warm and comforting and it sends shivers down my spine.

Then I laid down on his bed and inhaled his duvet covers, soft cotton. Oh it smelt so familiar it almost felt like I was never away.

Weston lays in front of me, both of us looking back at each other. My finger traces down the edge of his jaw, flicking across his stubble gently.

"What are you thinking about?" He whispers.

My lips fall into a soft frown and Weston's eyebrows furrow. "Just..." I pause for a moment to gather my thoughts. "I just feel guilty for what I did to you. I don't know how you've forgiven me."

Weston shuffles closer, our noses almost brushing. "Because what I did was unfair and I broke your trust. How you reacted was normal, expected. I mean there was one thing." He nods and my heart clenches. "When you said my love for you meant nothing."

My lip quivers and I shake my head. "I was such a dick to you," my voice gets caught in my throat. "I was upset and saying stupid shit. Your love means everything to me, you've done more for me than anyone else ever would. God, I am never, ever going to take you for granted. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking."

I didn't even realise that tears had rolled down my cheeks until Weston pushes them away with his thumbs.

"We all do stupid things when we're upset," his voice dips.

"I hate that I upset you."

"And I hate that I upset you too."

I bite down on my bottom lip and sniffle. "What I did was childish and I'm embarrassed. I feel sick when I think back to what happened, I just wish that I could think more logically when my mind clouds with anxiety."

Weston presses a kiss to the patch between my eyebrows. "Well maybe it can be something we could work on together?"

My eyes slowly dry and I nod. "Yeah," I whisper.

We look each other dead in the eye and for a moment, neither of us say anything.

"I love you," I tell him as I cup his cheek. "I love you so much, West. I appreciate every little thing you've ever done for me, maybe sometimes I don't show it in the best way. But I don't know what I was thinking when I thought I could do life without you."