let me down slowly - wilbur soot

chapter 71- twitter simps

"cute?" i ask.

"yes. cute. i can't believe you wrote a song about me but couldn't tell me you liked me."

"i wrote a song about you AND your ex," i correct her. "and mind you! you had a boyfriend! i couldn't just go around and profess my love for you! quackity would've murdered me! he had already threatened to beat me up, you know?"

"he did?"

"yes!"

aubrey lets out a loud laugh.

"please! you've got like... a whole foot on him! why would he threaten you like that?"

"i don't know, but i was shitting bricks! i was so freaked out!"

this makes aubrey laugh even harder.

"you were SCARED?" she asks while gasping for air. "you were SCARED of that little two-feet-tall guy?"

"you know what they say. dynamite comes in small packages," i defend while raising my hands in defeat. and i swear i've never seen someone laugh harder than aubrey. i'm worried i'll have to get her an oxygen tank.

"breathe, aubrey!" i tell her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"i can't!" she wheezes.

"come on!"

once aubrey's finally done laughing at my expense, we talk for a while, and then conversation eventually leads to... i'm sure you can guess.

"what are we gonna tell people? about us?" aubrey asks.

"i don't know, honestly. i haven't even told tommy about anything," i reply. she nods and starts chewing her thumbnail nervously.

"i think we can tell a few people... but would you be okay with not making it public? not yet, at least. i don't need all of your twitter simps at my throat."

i laugh slightly and roll my eyes.

"you say that like you don't have twitter simps."

"not like you do! i get an occasional thirst comment. but all i see on instagram, youtube, twitch, twitter, or whatever is 'wilbur is so hot!' and 'wilbur soot is so perfect!' and 'i want wilbur soot to have my babies!'" aubrey crosses her arms and i nearly choke.

"people want to carry my babies?"

"that's besides the point!" aubrey's face turns red, most likely out of embarrassment and a tinge of jealousy. i smile as i move her hair out of her eyes and she turns to look at me.

"don't worry. i wouldn't want anyone to carry my babies other than you," i joke. i snort, but aubrey lets out the most flustered, embarrassed, and might i add adorable noises. she pushes my hand away then punches my shoulder. i repeat over and over that i'm joking, but she's not having it.

"no! oh my god! stop it! i didn't say i wanted your babies! i just-" she sputters out.

"relax! i told you i was joking! stop hitting me!" i say.

"you're built like a tree! you probably can't even feel anything!"

which is true. her punches feel like feathers grazing my arms, but i'm not going to tell her that.

"doesn't feel good now that the shoe is on the other foot, huh?" i say with a smirk. "you laughed at me for the alex thing. this is karma."

"shut up."

once she's done throwing her temper tantrum, we come to terms with only telling our close friends and family, and waiting a while for our relationship to go public.