let me down slowly - wilbur soot

chapter 17- 5 stages of grief

tw - this chapter deals pretty heavily with topics of depression/grief. though there is nothing physical (other than wilbur pulling his hair and pinching himself, both only happening one time), there is still a lot of angst in this chapter that some might find hard to read. if you're struggling at all, please reach out to someone. you are loved and wanted <3

before we begin, i said this last chapter but i just want to remind everyone that this is a fanfic! i do not think this is how wilbur acts irl at ALL. i don't know wilbur, therefore would not know how he acts, but i doubt it's like this. in this fic he falls for aubrey in one day and reacts strongly to "losing" her. a reaction this strong doesn't usually happen in real life, but once again this is fanfiction! it's not really meant to be realistic, rather meant to be entertaining. keep that in mind while reading :)

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stage one- denial

is this a fever dream? because it sure as hell feels like one.

i sit in the call in absolute stunned silence. all this time she was taken. even if i refuse to admit it to tommy or my chat, i pined for a girl that had a boyfriend. a boyfriend i know very well.

this can't be happening.

this is surely a nightmare. yeah, that's it.

it's the night before mcc and i'm so nervous that my brain somehow conjured up this crazy story of me meeting a girl from my mcc team and falling for her on the exact same day.

and any minute i'll wake up.

...

any minute now.

i groan as i close my eyes and subtly pinch my arm under my desk so my chat can't see. i slightly wince because of the pain, but when my eyes open i'm still here. in my office, at my desk, in front of a computer running minecraft and twitch, and still in call with two teenagers, two lovebirds, and technoblade.

what the hell?

stage two- anger

did she really have to string me along like that?

i mean, come on, no one would have been able to guess that aubrey wasn't single by the way she was flirting with me this whole championship!

i swiftly end my stream and make sure my computer camera is covered. i rest my elbows on my desk and my head in my hands. i slightly tug on my hair to attempt to focus on the physical pain rather than the heartache.

why the FUCK do i feel heartache?!

i barely know her!

is this even fair to quackity? did he hear her at all? all the times she complimented me, said outright flirty things... what was all of that? just a game?

am i just a game to her?

a game she's clearly very skilled at.

a game she knew she was going to win.

a game that leaves me beaten down in the dust while she claims victory on a golden throne.

i mute my mic and bang my fists loudly on my desk.

i hate her! i hate her!

i hate this feeling. i hate feeling like a part of me was torn away. even if i only had that part of me for three hours.