THOMAS - insecurities

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A/N:
Being a person that's struggling with self love, it was truly therapeutic to write this imagine, and I hope all of you that's struggling as well can find comfort in reading this as much as I found comfort in writing it 💛

In this story, Thomas finds you being insecure with your own body helps you realise your worth.
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"Bambina, why do you always take so long to get ready?" I heard Thomas sigh from downstairs.

"I'm done with my makeup now, I just need to throw on a dress, just wait a moment!" I called out in reply. Stuffing my makeup brushes back in my drawers, I headed towards my walk-in closet to pick out a dress. Thomas and I were going to a party tonight, and I sure wanted to look my best for my boyfriend. I rummaged through heaps of clothes, trying to find something suitable, until my eyes fell on a small box in the corner.

My fingers pried open the cover of the expensive-looking box, and inside laid a lovely strapless red dress. It was a gift from Thomas he bought when he was on tour six months ago. He saw the dress in a foriegn clothing store and thought I would look beautiful in it, so he gifted it to me. However, after trying it on once, I had no chance of wearing it until now. Today would be the perfect day to wear this, I smiled to myself.

Excited, I lifted the dress out of the box and admired it. Its fabric shimmered under the light, and its sides were perfectly designed for showing off ones curves.

"Oh, I'm going to look so good tonight!" I giggled as I stripped to my underwear.

I looped the dress through my head and pulled it down. Strangely, when it got to the waist part, I had struggled a little to force the dress through my middle, so it looked like the top part of me was stuck in a red tube before I pulled it down. That didn't happen when I first tried it on six months ago. Weird.

After smoothing out my dress a little, I checked my reflection in my full body length mirror and gasped. Instead of seeing the hourglass figure I had hoped for, my waist was a bit less curvy than I last remembered, and when I turned to the side I could see a bulge on my stomach protruding from the dress. It was not a large bulge, but just enough to show how much weight I've gained through the last few months.

"Oh no. Oh no." I couldn't tear my eyes away from that stubborn bulge. I felt a sharp pang of frustration and guilt in my heart. How could I possibly look good in this dress now? How could I let myself gain so much weight? Desperate, I sucked in my stomach as hard as I could, but the bulge was still there. The dress still felt uncomfortably tight around me.

The red dress didn't seem as beautiful as it did just now. Looking at it, it seemed to constantly whisper thoughts in my mind. You're unattractive. You eat too much. You exercise too little. This is all your fault. I tried to push them away, but I knew, deep inside, a small part of me silently agreed with them.

Suddenly, the door of my closet creaked open. "Y/n? Are you done yet?" It was Thomas. I hurriedly tried to find something to cover up my stomach, and settled for a cardigan laying on the floor. I couldn't let him see me like this.

He looked puzzled at my action. "Why are you covering yourself up, bambina?"

I swallowed nervously. I couldn't hide my thoughts from Thomas. "I've gained some weight lately. I don't look good in this dress anymore." I dropped the cardigan I picked up to the side, revealing the dress that tightly clutched my body and forced my eyes shut before tears could spill out of them.

I felt two hands snake around my waist. "Bambina,"

Slowly, I opened my eyes and saw that in the mirror, Thomas was hugging me from behind, burying his face in the crook of my neck.

"You are...the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

I wiped away my tears quickly before they could ruin my makeup. "How could you ever think so?" I sniffed.

Gently, my boyfriend curled a strand of hair around my ear.

"Weight is not an indicator of beauty. I don't care how many pounds you gain, how many pounds you lose. You're still going to be beautiful to me." His eyes fell to my red dress. "And if this dress doesn't fit you, we'll get you another one. You're not meant to fit clothes, y/n. It's the other way round."

God, I love that man. Turning around, I wrapped my arms around Thomas' neck. The way he looked at me was so filled with adoration, with love, it was like he was staring at the perfect girl, the girl of his dreams. As though I was already everyting he wanted and then some.

Thomas pulled me closer by my waist. "I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."

I had to force down the waterworks again. "Thank you so much, Thommy. It could take a while for me to think more positively of myself though."

He pulled away and cupped my face. "We'll take baby steps."

Thomas turned and opened a few drawers where I put my clothes. "And let's begin by choosing a dress that you actually feel comfortable and confident in."

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because of school, i won't be posting new imagines for a while, so i'll label this book as "completed" first. but I promise I'll find time to write some imagines <3

you can still submit your requests here tho:

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