The Hope Journal

The Hope Journal-Chapter 9 (Sara)

Chapter 9

~Sara~

     I got home sometime around one o'clock in the morning. After leaving Mamma Mia's, I walked around town some more. I just needed to think. I didn't cry. I just walked, in a circle. When I was thinking, I kept asking myself questions.

What if Sam had never been born?

What if Renee had never left?

What if dad had never left?

What if Sam didn't have Aspergers?

Would I be normal?

     These questions ran through my mind like they were running a marathon. What if... What if... What if... Eventually, I realized that no matter what I said or asked, things were like this for a reason. I've never been a religous person. I think I've only gone to a church twice, and that was to get baptised and for my Aunt's wedding. I was very young, though. But, for some reason, I think that God is doing this. He seems to have a purpose. That's what people say, right? Am I supposed to listen to him? Am I supposed to change for him? If only I knew. Sure, I guess I could go to church one Sunday, but I wouldn't feel right and Sam wouldn't be too happy that I was messing up his schedule. Maybe we'll go to church this Sunday. Maybe God will tell me something.

     By the time that I stopped asking myself these questions, I was home. Everything was dark, so I assumed that Sam had gone to bed. I quietly turned the door knob. It was locked. I smiled. I was the one that taught Sam to always lock the door at night. Plus, there have been some robberies going on in our neighborhood and the last thing we want is to be robbed.

     I reached into the front pocket on my jacket and felt around for my key. It wasn't there. "Shit," I muttered to myself. I wiggled the door knob, hoping that some how it would open up. It didn't. "Shit. Shit. Shit," I muttered again. I plopped down onto the cold, front steps. I guess I was going to sleep here tonight. I leaned my head back against the door and a hair pin fell out of my hair. I looked down at it and smiled. I had found my way in.

     I picked up the hair pin and inserted it into the lock. Thank you Dad. He had taught me how to do this when I was eight. It's usefull, but it makes a lot of noise. Oh well. I needed to get into my house. I wiggled the pin around in the lock for awhile until I heard a click. I pushed the door open. I was in!

Authors Note: Sorry it took me awhile to upload this chapter. I promise that I'm going to stay on top of things from now on! Thanks for reading.

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~Hope