The Book Of Forbidden One Shots | SLOW UPDATES

The Fire Ninja

April Angst Week Day 1: Ninja Never Quit 

"How much pain do you have to go through before giving up is okay?" Skylor asked one night, her eyes reflected her concern as Kai let out a sigh.

He leaned back, his head resting in his arms. "That's the thing about being a ninja. You never quit."

The bad thing about keeping yourself together is not knowing when you'd break. When the last tape that you're using to stop yourself from falling apart finally gives up and you just collapse into glass shards, so small it may be impossible to fix, not unless you were dedicated enough to pick up the pieces one by one.

But who would waste time repairing something so broken?

Kai Smith never bothered to.

Skylor's question wondered in his mind aimlessly, how much pain did I have to go through? He could easily recall numerous situations where he felt like giving up. Where he felt like breaking the strong front that he had managed to put up to cover the fact that he was still a child.

Besides, who would trust a broken ninja?

"But you're also human, Kai." Skylor offered, it was clear she wasn't letting this go. "And we can only endure so much before we've had enough."

Kai scoffed. Not everyone could endure half of what he had to. Not everyone could continue to live after everything he's seen in his lifetime. "I may be human, but my boundaries are different from everyone else's."

"That's the point! Not everyone would survive what you've been through, so how come you can?"

Another question that made Kai think. He searched his mind for an answer but there was none. Just a silence that echoed through his soul. Kai always had to remain strong, he always had to push through and persevere. Because when you're fighting for your life everyday, giving up was not an option.

And it wasn't like he caught a break either because there wasn't a time in his life when he was free from the burden of everyone's problems. There was always something to fix, something to solve, someone to save, but never a time to figure out himself or who he really was.

"I don't know." He answered with honesty. "Maybe I'm just made different."

"Or you've felt so much pain, it's made you numb." She made a good point, but Kai didn't want to think of it that way. Skylor moved from her space on the rooftop, laying down beside his figure as they looked up at the stars. "You've been through so much that you never know when something is too much already."

Kai didn't want to say that she was right—mostly because he wasn't sure of the answer himself—but he couldn't ignore how close it could be from the truth. He could still feel things, of course, the simple emotions of happiness, anger, sadness, he could easily express them. But pain? Kai had been trained to deal with it.

Kai let out a sigh. "Pain is a part of life. You're not really living if you've never been hurt."

He could feel her annoyance at his insistence that he was fine. That he could handle anything that's been thrown at him. "Too much pain is not living anymore, Kai." She pointed out. "It's just hurting at this point."

Perhaps she was right or perhaps she was wrong. Kai wasn't sure anymore. His whole life, he had learned how to accept his circumstances and continue to push through with a strong spirit. To continue living everyday of his life no matter how broken and taped up he was.

"I've endured through so much." He said, not giving any thought as the words left his mouth. "What's a little more?"

Since the beginning, Kai had learned that he couldn't depend on anyone but himself. Not his parents, not his master, not the world. He had been five when life taught him that. When they took away his parents and forced him to take a stand and fulfill his responsibility as the older brother.