Bright Light in the Darkness

Chapter 10

Hours later, Elanor had found herself leaving her home, intending to walk among the trees and clear her mind. The conversation she had unintentionally overheard played over and over again and left her drained and feeling as though she was walking through fog.

She was not sure which part was more overwhelming. The idea that she would be drawn into this fight at some point, pulled away from her safe haven for the last 100 years. Or that the ellon she had considered a close friend and savior had been harboring something deeper than friendship for her for years and she had been blind to it all.

What's more, he knew everything about her past. How she had been - still was - in love with Legolas. Haldir knew that he would never possess her heart and he still stayed at her side and helped her. But then, what if he had only done such things in the hopes that she might turn away from the Prince? That she might eventually turn to him instead?

Such thoughts were ridiculous, she then quickly decided. Haldir did not have a selfish bone in his body and would never do such a thing for his own egotistical desires.

It was confusing and had turned her safe, quiet world upside down as she struggled to grasp onto all the various things flying through her mind. While she was still worried about the Fellowship and what it was that Legolas wished to tell her, she could not focus on any one thing.

Everything ran round and round in her mind without ceasing.

It was then that she stopped in her walk, noticing that her feet had taken her to the training grounds. Gulping, Elanor was not sure why she would end up here. But then again, there had once been a time when she used sparring and training as a way to work through her thoughts and frustrations. Perhaps her mind was grasping to old habits as a way to cope.

She looked down the path through the trees to the grounds, then upon a figure making its way towards her. She froze when she made out Haldir in the growing dark.

"Elanor. What brings you here?" he asked, immediately worried as he took in her state. She must look wretched, Elanor realized. She had been crying for some time, running her fingers through her hair constantly as she paced about her room. Haldir immediately rushed up to her. "What is the matter?"

"How long?" she asked softly, finding they were the first words to spill out her lips.

She was not sure why she would ask that or what she would accomplish by learning the answer, but more than anything, Elanor realized that she needed the truth right now. First this, then on other matters.

"How long?" Haldir repeated, confused.

"How long have you been in love with me?" she whispered. Haldir's eyes widened a moment before he sighed and shook his head.

"If you heard this from Orophin, you must pay no heed. You know how he is," he said, attempting to cover his surprise with a weak smile.

"I overheard you in the house of healing," she replied, keeping her gaze steady. "When you spoke with Orophin and Durothil." Haldir froze once more then looked around the path.

"Follow me," he said, starting to turn. Elanor did not move at first, but when he stopped to see if she was following, she found her feet moving towards him.

He did not speak until they were deep in the woods along the outskirts of the training grounds, far from the eyes and ears of others. While Elanor came to a stop, Haldir walked a bit further, pacing slightly and unable to meet her eyes.

"How long?" she asked again.

He stopped pacing and looked at her, his face full of agony. It was so strong that she could almost feel it wafting from him. Part of her wished to reach out and comfort him. But she did not, knowing that she was partially to blame for this torture.