11/28 by uliaj06

fifteen

December 5

Saturday

I wake up to the sound of my alarm. The repeated buzzing, and noise that annoys the fuck out of me. I want to throw my stupid phone against the wall just to make it shut up.

I need more sleep.

I search, moving my arms around to the place of the buzzing, not wanting to open my eyes yet. Because maybe, just maybe, I could go back to sleep.

I finally find where the sound was coming from and I open my eyes to press end so the ringing would stop.

I opened my eyes.

God damn it.

Great.

Now I can't go back to sleep.

It's 9:00

Why is my alarm even set this early?! Last time I checked, I didn't have work today. I didn't have to get up. Today is the day I'm supposed to sleep in, and sleep through half the day because I deserve it.

I grab a fuzzy blanket that's next to me and wrap it around myself, thankful for its soft, fuzzy fabric giving me warmth.

I'm awake.

And fuck do I not want to be awake.

My eyes scan my room as I start to fully wake up.

I sit there, in the middle of my bed, white covers and pillows surrounding me, wrapped in my light pink fuzzy blanket in a daze.

The sun was bright.

Too bright.

It annoyed me.

I had this gut-deep hatred and annoyance for everything and everyone this morning.

I hate everything.

I need coffee.

Fuck. Aelin's not awake yet since it's the weekend and it's early.

I flip my phone over to see the time again, just to make sure it's actually early, and I'm not just hallucinating or dreaming this whole thing.

Nope. It's 9:04

I get out of my warm, comfy bed, dreading every moment of it.

Why am I even up this early?

After a few seconds, I remembered.

Tate.

The pieces came rushing in. Yesterday I went to a fitting for the models in a different location. During my lunch break as I was walking in the streets, I saw him.

Of course I saw him. Because apparently my eyes are attracted to him, like bees to honey, and my eyes were stuck on him. Out of all the people, my eyes always seem to find him. Tate.

What is he doing here? I remember thinking.

He was across the street, standing to the side of his black car.

I knew I probably should've looked away and paid him no attention. It's none of my business, and he doesn't deserve it anyway. But, my eyes can't seem to look away from him.

He didn't know I was there or that I was looking at him, I mean, why would he. He's too preoccupied looking down at the mystery person in the passenger seat of his car.

And I was walking beside two people who unknowingly hid me.

The mystery person gets out of the car and I find that it's a woman. Long, bleached blonde hair, definitely taller than me, and definitely looks wealthy.

I mean partying in luxury beach houses in Malibu and the Hamptons rich.

She was wearing sunglasses. In winter. When it's cloudy.

And to add to that, a light brown coat with a white turtleneck and a black short skirt.

It was cute, I wasn't going to lie. But it was thirty degrees out.

I remember watching her nudge closer to him, hugging his arm, more disgusted than I probably should've been.

It was a good move, I'll give her that.

Then I remember thinking about what his arms would feel like. Then being more disgusted by that.

They were across the street ahead of us by a few feet. I felt like such a stalker but they were right there. And I couldn't not look.

Tate was emotionless, like usual, seeming to not pay any attention to her as they continued walking. But that's just Tate.

I saw her hold his hand to pull him towards a store.

Then when we arrived at the place we went to eat at, I found myself unable to forget about him with her.

I read the menu, I couldn't focus. I found seats, ate my food, had a nice conversation with my friends, and still he was on my mind

So finally, for the sake of living with no regrets, and silencing my mind, I excused myself to the bathroom.

I called him without letting myself think too much of it. And after pacing and cursing myself for doing this, he answered.

"Hey." I hear his voice through the phone.

"Hi. Umm, last night you called me." I was trying to act calm and composed like how he was, as if I wasn't regretting my whole decision.

"I did." He answered vaguely.

"Well, I did some thinking," I stall. "Yeah, and um... I could really use some ice cream tomorrow."

"What are the odds? I could too." He responds.

"You're buying, right?" In that moment, I was relieved. Relieved that he remembers he still wanted to do it. It would've been so embarrassing if he hadn't or if he said no because he's busy.

"Like I said, anything you want." He says in a friendlier tone.

After a moment, I speak up again. "So... tomorrow?"

"What time do you usually have breakfast?" He ignores my question.

"Like 9-10" I answer.

"Great. I'll be there at 10."

"Ok."

"Bye, Ro." He hangs up.

I replayed the conversation in my head.

And here we are now. The bright bathroom lights blinding me. Waking up earlier than I should on a weekend. No coffee. And in the middle of wanting to climb back into bed and knowing I won't be able to fall back asleep.

I shouldn't even be doing this for him. He's not even worth it. So why? Why, why, why, am I doing this?

God, you're so stupid, Rowan.

Can a fucking truck hit me already?

I grab my toothbrush and start aggressively brushing my teeth. Or so I thought. I'm too tired to actually brush it aggressively. It's actually more like me, giving myself a death stare while brushing my teeth slowly because I don't have energy.

I want coffee.