𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 | ✔

FORTY NINE

We look away at the same time and I shove more mash inside my mouth, anything to distract me from this crumbling situation.

"Well can you hurry up, I hate this tension." Alfie mumbles earning a tap from Hope and a small grunt.

The rest of dinner was strange, Mace and Alfie talk amongst themselves but I'm grateful for their attempts at trying to make this normal. I'd rather talk to Kassian alone than over dinner in front of everyone.

We didn't have to display our problems to everyone and wait for them to whip out the popcorn, like our argument is some form of entertainment.

Once dinner was over Mace excuses himself to see Arlo, he did make dinner after all. Slowly they all filter out of the kitchen until it was just me and Kassian left. He opens up the dishwasher and starts loading it, the silence between us felt deafening.

I slowly approach his side and pull at the sleeves on my top, my hip bumps the counter but he doesn't look at me. "Hey," I say quietly.

Kassian's eyes slowly find mine. "Hey," he forces his lips up into an unconvincing smile.

"Need some help?"

"I got it," he says before loading up the rest of the dirty dishes. He kicks the door shut with his foot and slowly he turns his body to me. Our arms almost brush but they don't, my wolf howls and then sulks.

Oh, how close we are to feeling normal rather than being on edge because we're fighting.

Kassian looks hesitant as he glances down at me. He clears his throat and I wait for him to say something, he wants to say something. "Will you sleep in our bed tonight?" He asks softly, his fingers itching to touch me but he respects my wishes. "We don't have to touch, or talk. Being near each other will help with the pain. I understand if you still want space."

The agony in his eyes was evident, we both couldn't hack another night alone. Our hearts would break and we would never sleep, we'd toss and turn and have haunting dreams.

I purse my lips and nod. "Okay."

There is a wash of relief across Kassian's face and that makes me feel better. We both shouldn't suffer if we don't have to, I know he's sorry and he's guilty. It's obvious in his stance.

"Yeah?" He takes one step closer, hopeful.

Our arms brush but it's through the fabric of our clothes, so close to skin.

"Yes," I nod as my throat clenches. "I'll sleep in our bed tonight."

"It's already quite late," he comments, glancing out of the kitchen window. "Do you want to go up to bed now? I know I didn't get a good night's sleep last night."

I bite down on my lip and eventually I nod. He could see the bags under my eyes, my unfresh skin. Desperately needing sleep more than anything, especially in a bed that smells like Kassian and sleeping beside his warm body.

We go upstairs and into our tidy bedroom, I take my pyjamas and get changed in the en-suite before grabbing a spare toothbrush. I do what I need to get ready for bed and when I walk back into the room, Kassian is standing with his back to me. Shirtless, drinking a glass of water.

Even his back muscles send my knees almost buckling. I glance away so I don't drool and slip into my side of the bed. He sees me and copies my actions, putting on the lamp beside his bed.

I lay on my back and look up at the ceiling, Kassian turns on his side to look at me. We lay like this for God knows how long but I could hear my heartbeat in my throat, I don't know why this still felt tense. Almost forbidden.