My Sister's Best Friend

7

Today at school I'm feeling better than I have in a long time. I'm not naive to the fact that it probably has to do with Maya and I's conversation last night. She had said that the panic attack version of myself was cooler than being a dick all the time, so when I see Jennifer studying in the library I find myself going over to sit across from her.

Maybe Maya is right. Maybe attempting to be a little more like myself will work out in my favor, and I've been feeling horrible ever since Kelsey's party when I left Jennifer in that room alone half naked. I need to redeem myself, or at least try to.

Jennifer glances up from the textbook in front of her before she gets an annoyed look on her face and focuses back on the pages. I'm not surprised that she doesn't want to see me. I wouldn't want to see me either.

"Can we talk about last weekend?" I ask hesitantly.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She mutters, so I reach across the table to grab onto her hand.

"I wanted to apologize for walking out on you like that. It had nothing to do with you, alright? I just have a lot going on, and unfortunately I wasn't in a great head space that night."

With a narrowing of her eyes, she scans over my face as if she's trying to figure out if this is a joke or not. Has this happened to her before? Someone walking out on her half naked?

"Ethan, it's literally fine." She shrugs. "I don't care. It's not like it was anything serious? I wanted to fuck, you didn't. Case closed."

"But I did, I just-" and then I stop myself and let out a frustrated sigh. "That's not the point. The point is that I walked out on you when I shouldn't have, and I'm apologizing for it."

"And I just said it's fine. Why are you being so fucking weird? Are you like, in love with me or something?"

She's blinking at me a few times like she's trying to figure out if this is a dream or if this is actually happening, and I'm sitting across from her completely emotionless, unsure of how to even react to that.

It's not until now that I realize that she's exactly who I thought she was. Sometimes, like me, there's people in the popularity circle that have something more to them. You know, something underneath the surface, they surprise you, but Jennifer is just what her label is: a cocky cheerleader who lacks the maturity to even have a conversation like this to begin with. I don't know why I wasted my time.

"Forget I said anything." I smile a fake grin and tap the table before I stand up. "Have a nice day."

"Ethan." She calls out. I turn my head around in her direction. "Do you want to have sex or not?"

She studies me intently before she brings the pencil she's holding to her mouth, gently biting on the tip of the eraser. I'm not proud of it, but my mind immediately goes to last weekend when her mouth was completely wrapped around me, those blue eyes seeming to stare right into my soul.

Wasn't she just insinuating that I'm weird? Now she's looking like she wants to completely devour me. I'm so confused. So utterly confused.

"Look," she rolls her eyes and closes the textbook, beginning to gather up all of her stuff. "Honestly, your mysterious hard to get act is turning me on, and if this is what you do to get the other girls then so be it. You're hot, and now I'm oddly wanting you now more than ever."

"I...." I scratch the back of my head. "What?"

She comes to stand beside me, placing those perfectly manicured nails right back onto my chest. "Come to my house after practice. I'll text you the address." And then she leaves me alone in the library with my heart racing through the roof.