| Oedipussy |

Scene 3

[enter Tires Sus, led by a little bitch]

Tires Sus:

HIIIIII SISTERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS [does gay hand thing, but blind]

Oedipussy:

TIRES SUS, FUCKING FINALLY, MAN!!! DO YOU SEE THE SHIT THAT'S GOING ON OUT THERE????

[both pause, Oedipussy staring at Tires Sus and Tires Sus staring at a wall, a few feet left of Oedipussy]

Oedipussy:

OUR TOWN IS FUCKING DYING BRO – wait wasn't it a country... or was it a city state... ANYWAYS YOU KNOW SHIT AND WE NEED THAT SHIT, SPILL THE TEA OR THE, UH, BIRD ORGANS OR WHATEVER!!!!! C'MON WHO KILLED FUCKING LAYBUS????

Tires Sus:

Damn bro it really sucks to know shit that no one cares about...

Oedipussy:

Wdym no one cares about???? the sake of our fucking country depends on this?????

Tires Sus:

Idk man you just seem like a bitch... You wouldn't care about it anyways...

Oedipussy:

Geez looks like someone's been listening to their Sad Bart Simpson Edit Playlist TM on Spotify

Tires Sus:

Man, can I just go home this party sucks, you can handle this shit on your own. I have other stuff to do anyways

Oedipussy:

Have you seen this fucking place???? I clearly have no fucking idea how to rule

Tires Sus:

1) No, I did not see this place – I'm still fucking blind. 2) Yeah, you do have a pretty valid point there, you are a terrible leader

Oedipussy:

So- So you're not going to do anything??? C'mon man you heard the rules: If you know shit, say shit

Tires Sus:

Nope.

Oedipussy:

C'mon dude I'm begging you- I am begging you on my fucking gknees

[Oedipussy is very much not on his knees]

Tires Sus:

Dude you're literally standing rn- Also it's pronounced knees not gknees

Oedipussy:

Wait how can you even see what I'm doing??? Also I can pronounce shit how I want – I'm the fucking king.

Tires Sus:

Listen man I literally don't care how you pronounce knees, but the point I'm trying to make is: You're an ignorant bitch and there's no way I'm telling you shit, loser.

Oedipussy:

Wtf do you mean???? [gasps] ARE YOU... A TRAITOR??????

Tires Sus:

All I said was I'm not telling you shi-

Oedipussy:

YOU TWO-TIMING, COCK-SUCKING, CUNT-FACED, BITCH-ASS TRAITOR!!!!!! YOU WANNA THROW HANDS OLD MAN???? JUST SPILL THE FUCKING TEA ALREADY!!!!