maybe I am really fucked in the head

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Disgusting,  Cause sometimes I find myself seeking for male validation.
Disgusting, because I hate men but they make me feel good about myself.
Disgusting, cause I know that they're after my body but I let them.
Disgusting, cause nasty things sometimes boosts my confidence.

I don't dress for male gaze, I don't do make up for them, I do it for my self, but when they compliment me, it, it disgustingly feel nice.

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