She saw her friends fall inlove, one was in a stable relationship, one has a kid, one was crushing so bad, one was fan girling, one was courting someone, two was a highschool sweet hearts, one was heart broken but after a year find the one who'd love every inch of him.
"love is really a great thing huh" because she saw how her friends was tired but still has a glistening eyes when they meet their partners, how they'd have someone to vent our to whenever they're mad, tired or happy.
Not that she wasn't able to experience that extreme feeling, she did, she once fell inlove and it broke her, miserably.
She tried couple of times to be in a relationship, she met a lot of new people, from the ones who has no sense of path and the ones who's success future planed.
And then she got tired, she stoped, because she knew at the back of her head she is afraid, no matter how her friends encouraged her to try and give it a shot, she's trembling in fear because she knew anything that is close to loving would hunt her, would broke her.
Later then she realized "loving isn't made for anyone" she is better off alone she thought, she has friends and family why would she want something more? Her mind was fixed she won't love because she's complete on her own, she's lucky enough to experience the love before but sadly it turned out to be a disaster. But still she was happy. Atleast once in her life she experienced the love, she love.
Though she realized things every night when she's alone holding a bottle of liquor, drowning from her thoughts, she then wondered, "How does it feel to love someone without worrying about the pain" at the end of the day she just wants someone to understand the dept of her. But next morning she sobered up, she only needs love when she's in the influence of liquor, from then on she rejected every guy she met, she then never got married.
Sad thing is she was too afraid to conquer the love again, she forgot that someone, somewhere, if she only gave him a chance, he'd understand the dept of her because by looking in her eyes he knew that she was wrecked and afraid but he was willing to mend it out. He got heart broken but after a year he find someone who was able to reciprocate his love. She never knew, because she was too afraid to listen.
