𝓔𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓗𝓪𝓼 𝓢𝓮𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓼 //𝓓𝓢𝓜𝓟//

18-insert good title name

TRIGGERS: 

mentions of bulimia/not eating

TUBBO POV:

We walked bakc to will and quakitys room. i went and sat on his bed and he closed the door and pulled the office chair from the little desk over to me.

"uh- i dont quite know how to start this." He said. 

"maybe ill start. IM sorry. you prbably have a million things to do other than asking me questions about how i dont eat and shit, yet here we are. me just rambling and rambling on about hating food and hating myself and my body image and feeling like your a falure every time you try to eat and-" i began, then cut myself (same man) off. "Sorry" i said quietly after.

"Nono dont be sorry. this is good. sometimes its good to just rant ablut shit someitmes." He encouraged me to go on. "Come on. please talk to me. There was something about being a failure?" He prompted

"W- well yeah, it feels like people are wasting the food on me and i dont deserve to eat it and that im already fat enough as is." 

"Look- i know this might not help, but your not fat. and you do deserve food. you need it." He paused for a second then exhaled defeadidly. "Im not gonna act like im above this shit. I hate the way it feels ot be full. I hate that it makes me feel normal. But i want to feel normal though. So i dont know. Even before i really became bulimic i felt how you do too."

"Um- this is gonna sound weird, but do you think you could tell me more about like- your experinces with this stuff? You seem to know alot." 

"Uh i mean sure. Ive hed a diagnosed ED since i was about 10, but its changed over the years. First it was just anorexia, but i got like- dangerously thin, so then that went to a BED for a bit witch evened out my weight, witch eventually turned to bulimia and a PD."

"I have so many questions right now." He half of the words didnt make sense to me. Anorexia? BED? bulimia? What were they? Did i have one?

"Im here to answer them." 

"Well- What do they mean? I think ive heard of anorexia and bulimia but i dont remember them."

"Well, anorexia is where someone thinks theyre overwight, even if theyre really underweight, witch i think might be what you have. Then BED means binge eating disorder, witch is just what it osunds like. You binge eat and dont purge. Then bulimia is a binge and purge disorder, where someone would normaly eat a lot of food, then purge it in different ways. I think the most common is though forced vomiting. Then PD means purging disorder, witch is like bulimia without the binging." 

"Oh- Okay." That was a lot.

"But enough about me. Do you know when this all started really?" He asked.

"Uh- I mean it was kinda around 7th grade that i started realzing howunhappy i was with myself and my body i guess. Its only really ammounted from there."

"Have you ever tred purging in any way at all before? Jesus i sound like one of those people huh. Some weird therapist."

"Yeah ya kinda do huh. But no. Just the voices were so loud. telling me bad things. Things that i shouldnt do. then i just couldnt take it and i ran out of the room and here we are now."

"I know ive said this beofre, but plase dont do this. I know that kind of makes me a hypocrite, but plase toby. This doesn't end well. I'm always hella dehydrated, my throat always fucking burns, i cant eat citrus anymore without it feeling like someone poured fire down my esophagus. It isn't fun." He said.

"This might sound dumb, but can you just stop? Like just eat not much and don't throw it up?" " I asked, then immediately felt sorry after a pained look came across his face.

"No. I can't just stop. That's like me asking you 'can't you just eat fucking normaly?'" He sounded slightly mad.

The words hurt like a slap to the face. "Will im- im so sorry. I didn't realize-" I began, stopping when he held up his hand.

"I- it's just what everyone I get the confidence to tell about this says. Like it's just something I can just stop at any moment. Like I could just throw this thing that's taken up so much of my life in front of a train or something. No. That's just not how it works." He had tears brimming his eyes again.

"Will i didnt realize how dumb that sounded i am so sorry."

"No it's alright. Just hit close to home kinda. My old college roommate was disgusted by me and told me that no one would care if i was alive or dead, then asked for a new roommate a week after the year started. A lot of people think you can help it. They say to just don't do it. Everyone I've ever told had said that. I thought it might be different with you since you experienced some of this." he looked at me, "Also speaking of, im gonna help you through this, but i'm not gonna let you get away with eating none. But we'll start slow. How much have you eaten today?"

"Uh- i've had- whatever we had for dinner. I forgot what it was though. Or how much I had." My memory was all hasy.

"Do you reckon you finished most of it?" he asked.

"I don't wanna think about that right now.'' I said quietly.

"Okay. We're gonna start slow tomorrow okay? Like I said before, I'm still gonna keep you healthy, I'm just not forcing it upon you."

"Forcing what upon who?" Quackity asked as he walked into the room, then stopped when he saw me. "Oh- shoot should i come back in a bit-"

WILBUR POV:

(WOW TTHAT WAS SUDDEN HA)

"No, it's fine. It's getting kinda late anyway. You should go to bed man." I told the brunette.

"Okay. Good night. Thank you." He said.

"NIght. Don't do anything you'll regret later!" I called after him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Quackity laughed, now walking in fully and taking a seat on his bed.

"I was just giving him some advice about something."

"Oh. You okay man? Your eyes look all puffy."

"I guess I'm just tired. I think I'm gonna go to bed. If you're gonna be loud go to your boyfriend's room or something." I joked.

He chucked a pillow at my head.

"Hey!" I smiled, throwing it back at him. "Night idiot."

"Sleep tight dumbass."

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