Starting Over

Chapter 6

The next day I walk into the training room and see that the tables with weapons on them are gone. Then I see Tobias standing at one of the punching bags. I can see his muscles rippling under his shirt. I can still picture the tattoos that run down his back.

When everyone arrives he announces that today we are going to start training in hand to hand combat. After he demonstrates for a few minutes we split up and start working on our own.

"Hey look, the Stiff's been training with her Dauntless friends! I wonder how she pays them!" Thomas announces.

"Enough," Tobias tells him, but it's too late. Everybody heard.

I turn around and hit the punching bag as hard as I can. Before I can stop myself I scream as I hear the sickening snap and feel the sharp, stabbing pain shoot through my thumb and into my hand.

"What happened?" Tobias asks, surprisingly close to my ear, and way too soon considering he was across the room just a second ago. He must have run. It's sad that that makes me feel better.

"I think I just broke my thumb," I say, forcing myself to not cry. I cannot cry in front of them.

He helps me up and leads me out the door. I can hear Thomas laughing as I walk out.

"I want to rip his throat out," I tell Tobias.

"Good, focus on that and not your broken thumb."

"So it's really broken?"

"It's your thumb; what do you think?"

"Broken," I say while shaking my head and laughing. "I'm such an idiot!" I punch the wall with my other hand but not hard enough to hurt it.

He laughs with me. "How, exactly, did you manage to break your thumb?"

"I didn't tuck it into my fist and in a blind fury I hit the punching bag as hard as I could."

His face pales, turning hard, and I can tell we're not joking anymore. "I heard what he said."

"I know. Everyone in that room heard." I shake my head. "I have friends from Dauntless that I hang out with but I don't use them to get ahead. I work just as hard as everyone else. And even if they were helping me I wouldn't pay them like he's suggesting! Helping each other is what friends do."

"You don't seem like the kind of girl who would pay like that. He's just trying to get under your skin. Don't let him."

He gives me a stare that I know well. It's the same one he gave me when he told me to destroy Peter and his friends. I smile at him and hold up my injured hand. "You can tell how well that worked out."

"Clearly you need to work on controlling your emotions. I thought you'd be better at that considering you came from Abnegation."

"We're supposed to be selfless Four, not emotionless."

"I know."

I go to say something else but we're at the infirmary. He stops and stares at me.

"I'll see you later, B," he says before he turns and walks away.

As he walks away all I can think about is how badly I wanted him to call me Tris. In that instant I know that I have to tell him everything. Soon.