Nice! Moth- is a pretty uncommon prefix. Also, -berry fits her very well! (5/5)
Clan // WindClan
Okay! WindClan cats are pretty rare, so this is nice to see.
Gender // She-cat; she/her
Alright.
Age // 8 moons
She's a young-ish apprentice!
Rank // Apprentice
Okay.
Personality // Mothpaw is obedient. Her clan is ruled by a tyrant leader, so she's learned to follow the rules or face the consequences. She always blames herself when things get hard and is very harsh with herself. Mothpaw tries to see the best in everyone, and will lend a paw to those in need of she's allowed. Afraid of getting hurt, Mothpaw isn't one to speak her mind or act out, yet there's one exception to all of this. If one of her family members is in danger, all her niceties shut off. She will let everything in her head go, and do her best to defend them.
Interesting! I wonder why Juniperstar acts like a tyrant. What are their motives? And why has no one rebelled? Anyway, I love how Mothpaw is kind and protective of her family but also sensitive and not very bold or daring. But why is Mothpaw so caring of her family? Maybe she doesn't have anyone else to lean on? It looks great so far, but you could go a bit more in-detail about why she is how she is. (8/10)
Appearance // a golden cream she-cat with a sleek long tail that has a puff of gold fur at the tip, dark color legs with cream stripes, and grey eyes. Her build is very small yet she has longer ears.
Okay! I'd correct that to a dilute ginger tabby to be more realistic, because gold is not a realistic coat color. Also, it's very rare to have a ginger (or dilute ginger) female, but she looks good so far. (7/10)
Backstory // Mothpaw was born into a clan led by Juniperstar, an evil leader who does not tolerate rule breaking, misbehaving, and most importantly disability. The young she-cat doesn't really remember her kit-hood all too well, having to grow up too fast. She was apprenticed, like all the other apprentices in WindClan, to the generals, Bonebite and Darkshadow. Any time she got out of line, or did anything not to the liking of the Generals would claw and nip the tips of her ears, so she learned to shut up and stay quiet unless completely needed.
As said earlier, maybe you could explain why Junpierstar is a tyrant or why they don't tolerate such things? You could also explain about her relationship with her family and how that makes her so protective of them. I'm curious as to how she will develop, though! Great job. (7/10)
Relationships //
Father - Creamwillow: a cream tom with a white belly and paws, blue eyes. He's a loving father, kind and supportive of his kits. Creamwillow lives in fear of Juniperstar, but holds out for better days, telling his little ones stories of the days before the tyrant.
Okay! I love how he seems genetically accurate, but blue eyes is pretty rare among cats. Perhaps he has grey eyes like his mate? What flaws does he have? Also, his name is lovely! It's very unique and I love his suffix.
Mother - Moltedbreeze: a dilute calico she-cat with a long tail and gray eyes. She loves her kits very much but was afraid they'd become too reliant on her if she showed too much affection, so Mothpaw grew up without much from her mother other than basic necessities.
Alright! The prefix seems a little unfortunate (did you mean Mottled?), but her name is great. She looks realistic enough and I love how you stated her relationship with her kits!
Sister - Morningpaw: a dilute calico she-cat with blue eyes, Morningpaw is energetic and fun-loving. Nothing seems to dampen her bright spirit no matter how depressing and tragic. She can come off as not caring because of this though.
These names are so pretty. Morningpaw looks realistic enough, but the blue eyes could be scrapped because, as I said before, are super rare and typically only show up in purebreds or when mutation occurs. I like how her personality contradicts with her sister's though!
Brother - Mixedcry: a light tan tom with a creamery color on his left legs, left side of face, left ear, tail, and muzzle. His eyes are a striking green. Though from an older litter, Mixedcry visited his younger sisters anytime he could. This happened to be quite a lot since Juniperstar refuses to acknowledge Mixedcry as a real warrior.
Nice! He looks good. But I'm pretty sure it would be more accurate if he was a dilute brown tabby (because if he is tan and cream, he would be more of a dilute calico, which almost never happens in toms). He could have a paler left side though! But his eyes don't seem possible because neither of his parents have green eyes. Maybe slight grey-green eyes would look just as good? Anyway, I love how he cares about his siblings. His name is interesting too - I wonder why he was named that? (6/10)
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Thank you so much datfloofbean for the submission! Mothpaw is such a great character and I love the creativity with the plot and names. I hope this rating was helpful and not too harsh!
✰ Here's an extra graphic of Mothpaw that I made in Canva! ✰
(the quality was killed...)
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