⇞ wrap your arms around me ⇞carl grimes

Change? Part Two

"Oh yeah, because our present is so healthy." That took me off guard. He was everything but wrong. It's not and he nor me knew that for a fact.

"I hate disappointing people. Do you think I disappointed my mom?" I was taken back by his question and it gave me a gross feeling in my stomach.

f l a s h b a c k

"I have to do it. She's my mom." Carl explained to Maggie as I stood back, towering over Lori's lifeless and bloody body.

I couldn't contain all these tears and feelings. Lori died giving birth to Carl's baby sister. She's gone. She's dead. Lori was no longer among our group. One of the women figures in my life and my old life is gone.

Sadly I could put myself in Carl's shoes when I say I know how it feels to lose a parent. I don't have either of my parents with me on this earth anymore.

Carl came back over to my side, standing over Lori's body like I was. Tears were streaming so quickly down his face and I would love to be strong enough not to cry, for Carl. It was just utterly hard.

He stood with both hands to his side. His gun in his left hand, and sucked up the tears enough to see what he was about to do.

I inched my hand next to his slowly, wanting to hold his letting him know he is not alone. I couldn't bring myself to. I don't know why I didn't. I was an idiot. A scared idiot.

"Bye mom." Whispering softly as he brought the gun up in front of him. His hand shook a bit, with his eyes widening at the site in front of him.

I bit my bottom lip, shutting my eyes as my body shook slightly from the gun shot sound. I turned around abruptly so I didn't have to see Lori with a bullet through her skull.

"I know what you feel now, Bailey." Carl softly said referring to what I felt when my mom died in front of both Carl and I back at the hospital when we were twelve years young.

"We should get back to the other." He muttered walking passed me. I needed to gather myself, knowing that me being emotionally undone would help none.

e n d o f f l a s h b a c k

My lips began to quiver. Along with my eyes threatening to let a few tears slip away at that flashback. A horrible and sad flashback that I'd do anything to block out.

"What happened that day to your mom wasn't your fault." I softly said, and his eyes shot back up at me.

"I keep telling myself that, but I know inside that's not the truth." He shook his head in absolute defeat and disappointment.

"Continue to tell yourself that, because it's true. It wasn't your fault." I place my hand on his, and he was taken back at what I did. I was too.

I didn't think that I thought of Carl in anyway, but as a good friend. I don't think I do. Do I?

"You're the only person on this earth that understands me. I could say 'thank you' a million times and it wouldn't be enough." His eyes lit up like mine did. I'd never heard him say something so courageously comforting.

"I'm here for you." I gave his hand a squeeze and he a small smile crept onto his lips.

"I'm always here for you." His smile was now ear to ear and so was mine.

This was the Carl I'd known. The Carl I grew up with and loved as my own family. I hoped and hoped that his dark phase was just a phase and it was. He needed warmth and compassion to set him back, truth and a listening ear. I'd always be there for him, always.