opposites attract

the newbies

"stop!" i wake up abruptly out of my sleep.

i blink a few times catching my breath.

in the darkness of my room i squint, seeing my cat staring at me from the edge of my bed.

i grab my phone to check the time. 6:15am.

"good morning midnight." i sigh, trying to wrap my head around the traumatic memory that woke me up.

i rub my eyes a few times and get out of bed.

i walk to my bathroom and sit on the toilet to pee. i felt so heavy and sad already. i hate waking up like this.

when i'm done i flush and wash my hands. after grabbing my toothbrush and toothpaste, i lazily brush my teeth.

my cat finds her way into the bathroom, i feel her rub her head up against my ankle. i look down admiring her. "how are you doing this morning? hopefully better than me." i talk to her like she could talk back.

it was nice to have someone to talk to, even if it was my cat, even if she'll never respond. i think that's what i love about having a pet, you can ramble about anything and they'll sit there looking cute completely unaware of what you're saying. it's very therapeutic.

i finish up in the bathroom and look through my drawer for a pair of sweats and in my closet for a sweater. after getting dressed, i grab my keys and slip on some sandals. i make my way out of the house and outside. the cold beach breeze hits my face, waking me up even more.

i sluggishly start to walk to the beach.

while i'm walking the sounds of grunts and conversation catch my attention. i look to my right to see a moving truck and four people bringing a couch inside.

new neighbors, interesting.

i take my sandals off as i approach the sand and leave them at the entrance.

i feel exhausted. exhausted and weak.

i walk until i see the water and find a spot to sit down.

i'm quiet, taking deep breaths in and out. in and out. in and out.

the sound of the waves calm me down. i spend the next twenty minutes meditating to the sound of them with closed eyes.

if you listen closely, the ocean sounds like it's breathing.

"i knew you'd be out here." the raspy but melodic sound of my best friends voice opens my eyes. "you found me." i blink, looking at the water.

"good morning my friend, how did you sleep?" she asks sitting next to me. "i slept okay. then i woke up." i say softly. "mm, same here. are you okay?" she asks placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. i let a hollow laugh escape.

"i am now." i look at her and smile weakly. she frowns, her hand moving as her arm extends to hug me. "want to talk about it?"

do i? i'd like to forget if anything.

"it was just a bad memory that woke me up. of my...mother."