The Taint of Wolves

Warmth.

I pushed back out through the opposite door, panic catching in my throat. There was a heavy step before the Alpha followed me. "The bathroom is down on the right."

I ignored him and slipped into the bathroom, leaving drops of blood along the corridor as my own claws cut into my palms. It would heal. It would always heal.

A hand caught the door before I swung it shut. The bathroom was small, like an afterthought in the construction of the sprawling compound. The Alpha lingered in the door, concern pinching his brow.

"You're bleeding."

"It's Doresly's blood."

"I know the scent of your blood, Nova." Easton told me swiftly. "That is your blood."

I flicked on the sink and stuck my hands under the water. As he continued to wait, I raised a hand to show him the ripped skin of my palms.

"Why did you do that?" He leashed himself tight, but his burning concern was obvious.

"I – I prefer my own pain over those I care about. I hurt myself, or them."

"You wouldn't hurt Lux." Easton stepped inside, a looming shadow in the door. "I know that with as much certainty as I know that the sun will always rise, no matter what happens in the night. That the rain will fall and wash away bloodshed and leave the earth untouched."

"Are you a poet too? Another accolade of yours. A gardener. A painter. A poet."

"I will never understand the depth of what they did to you, Nova, but I think you see yourself as what the Ravi created. A monster on paper and never considering the human aspects of you that they couldn't erase. They might have added a little bit of Lycan and other things into you, but that doesn't mean they pulled out your humanity."

"I've done terrible things." I croaked.

"If we didn't need Doresly for information, I would have pulled that man's spine out through his neck." Easton's voice dipped, low and raging for just a moment. "I wouldn't feel a modicum of guilt for cutting down a man like that."

"I don't feel guilty for hurting him."

"You've spent eight years under the Ravi's thumb. You aren't going to shake their torment in a few months. No matter how much you want to."

I stared down at my hands again, at the blood on my finger-tips. My hands were shaking, but I didn't feel guilty for hurting Doresly. I never would.

Easton stepped closer and from behind me, took hold of my hands in a gentle grip. He moved my hands under the water, washing my hands. The water in the bowl turned pink-red. I dragged my attention up to Easton, watching the concentration on his face. Such a small task and yet, it had all his concentration and care.

Only when my hands were clean, did he look up.

His gaze met mine. His hand slipped back, long fingers around my wrists.

His chest swelled against my back, his breath shaky in release. He made to release me, his cheeks darkening. "I should go."

A subtle shake of my head. "No. Stay."

"Stay?"

In a move that was purposeful and sent a thrill of bundling nervous though me, I took one of his hands and set it on my hip. I kept my eyes on his and he I, both tracking the other for a wrong move made, a flicker of uncertainty.

The Alpha's hand curled on my hip. He looked at me through the mirror, eyes molten gold. I could not look away from him, even as I wanted to trace the trail of his hand as it made its soft path over a bony hip and back up. His finger-tips were so soft, so gentle against my ribs.