The russian one

Chapter 15 : Progress ?

"Uh Nat?" I heard someone say weakly behind me. I turned around and saw Y/n looking at her shaking hands. Did she just teleport?! She slowly raised her head to look at me. I saw her usual colored eyes, she is scared. Then she began to have trouble breathing and I saw drops of sweat running down her face. She looks exhausted, like the last time after the fight just before she -

SH*T

I rushed to her and grabbed her before she hit the ground. She's burning up...

"Is everything okay? I came to tell you that the meal was ready. What happened?" asked Clint. I turn to him, he doesn't seem to have seen what just happened. Good for him.

"Nothing, everything is fine. She outdid herself a bit. I'll take her to her room and meet you for dinner once I'm sure she's okay." I tell him as I stand up with Y/n in my arms.

"You finally accepted her huh?" he tells me in a mocking tone. "I'm sure you like her more than you pretend." he added. I didn't answer and went on my way.

Why did he say that? Just because I was being nicer and more patient with her? It's just to gain her trust, isn't it? Yes of course it is, nothing more.

So I take Y/n to her room, put her down on her bed. I then go and get a towel and soak it in water to put it on her forehead. I also put a bottle of water next to her bed with some painkillers. I hear her moan, probably in pain. Her breathing is not regular and she looks like she is in pain. She looks like she's panicking. I put my hand gently on her cheek. She's really burning up.

"It's okay. It's okay. You're okay." I said, stroking her cheek with my thumb. What the hell am I doing? Surprisingly it looks like she's calming down. She looks so innocent like this, so sensitive and fragile. She is so cute when she is calm. I keep caressing her cheek with my thumb when I then pass it over her lips. I looked at them intensely. I licked my lips and bit my lower lip.

WHAT THE HELL?

I jumped to my feet after realizing what I was doing. What's wrong with me? Why was my heart beating so fast? Why did I want to kiss her? SHE'S UNCONSCIOUS FOR GOD'S SAKE! Can you get any more crazy? I really need to get out of her room... oh my god...

I rushed out of her room and quickly closed the door. I then leaned against it. I place a hand over my heart and try to regulate my breathing. What's happening to me. I'm not attracted to her, I don't like her, right? Clint is wrong...

Is he ?

I don't like her, I don't see her that way, I hate her...

Do I ?

I need to distance myself from her. Let's start physically by going to dinner with the boys. I thought about my thumb on her lips and imagined myself kissing her, I bit my lower lip again and felt my cheeks get hotter and my heart beat faster. Lost in my thoughts I didn't even notice that I had already arrived at the dining room and all the boys were looking at me.

"Erm... Nat? Is everything okay?" it was Clint who snapped me out of my reverie. SH*T! Get a grip!

"Yes, of course, why?" I asked nonchalantly.

"You're all red and you didn't hear us talking to you when you came in," Clint continued.

"I just worked out, of course I'm red, plus I just took Y/n up to her room. " Liar, I'm just blushing... "And I was lost in thought, I'm worried about Y/n" I then said. Wait what? That just came out! No! I want to facepalm myself.

What I just said surprises everyone. But I continue to play it indifferently and sit with them around the table to eat my meal.

" You are... worried? ... about Y/n?" Bruce then asked, confused. I looked at him, shrugged my shoulders and resumed my meal.

"Wait... Is Y/n okay?" then asked Tony.

"Yes she's fine, she just passed out during training, I think we worked too hard. She looked fine and didn't say anything, I didn't think she would pass out." I then looked at Tony to see that he was conflicted. He doesn't know what to answer or what to think. "Don't worry Tony, she's fine. I put her in her bed with a wet towel on her forehead and something to soothe the pain when she wakes up next to her bed." What I said visibly reassured him, and he nodded and continued eating.

"Why are you helping her? It's not like she's going to stay long. She'll be back in a cell in no time, she's a murderer, not a friend." replied Bruce. Everyone turned their heads towards him, Tony was about to say something but I spoke up before him.

"Right now she doesn't live in a cell but with us, in a room next to ours. She eats with us, trains with us and lives with us. For the moment she's not an assassin or a Hydra agent, she's part of our team, of SHIELD and between us we take care of each other. Whether you like it or not Bruce, she is now part of our lives" I said coldly to Bruce.

Everyone was surprised, first because I never talk like that to Bruce but mostly because I just defended Y/n. Then I saw Tony smiling, he was satisfied with my answer because it was the last straw for Bruce; Steve smiled in a friendly way and was reassured that I was defending Y/n; Thor smiled in an approving way, he agreed with me; and then Clint, who looked at me with a mocking smile and raised his eyebrows in a playful way, probably to remind me of what he had said to me in the gym earlier on. I rolled my eyes and looked down at my meal and continued to eat. Once I finished, I left in the direction of my room. I walked past Y/n's room. I stopped in front of the door.

Should I go in? To check if she is okay? Maybe she is choking on the towel. Or maybe she fell out of bed. Can you hear yourself think, Nat? Don't be a psycho and go to your room. Which I did.

Once in my room I took a cold shower to calm my thoughts. I changed and got into bed, ready to sleep. But I can't, all I can do is think about Y/n. I worry. Maybe I should have gone in and checked on her anyway.

"JARVIS?"

"Yes ma'am?"

"Is everything okay in Y/n's room?"

"Yes agent Romanoff, she is sleeping peacefully. The towel is still on her forehead. Her body temperature has dropped. She seems to be doing much better."

I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding. I was relieved that she was okay.

"Let me know if anything changes, wake me up if you have to."

"Yes ma'am."

Well I don't have an excuse anymore, she's fine. That's good. But why did I worry so much? Does she mean that much to me?

I thought back to the moment in her room, and put my thumb to my lips. Her lips were so soft...

NAT

STOP

I'm a total freak! Stop thinking about it, you creep! I should take another cold shower to clear my head.

I'm just tired! A good night's sleep and I'll stop thinking about it.

~

I've never been so wrong in my life. I just had a more than inappropriate dream with Y/n... I wanted to wake up calm, refreshed and instead I am excited, sweaty and my heart is beating faster than ever.

This day is going to be very long...