Legions of unspoken affliction

Chapter 21 : Lunch

"I think I love Sunoo hyung..."

"What?"

"Yea..."

"What about Jungwon" asked the older.

"He.. well i don't think i love him ??" Said Riki.

"Are you sure you don't have feelings for him at all? It doesn't have to be love, just some feelings that make you feel all tingly?" jay asked.

"Well when you put it that way..."

"What do i do hyungggg?" Whined the younger, "I can't like both of them!"

"You can and it's okay! Sunoo is gone, you can love Sunoo but like Jungwon too and it's fine! As long as you be truthful to yourself and to Jungwon, he will understand. And don't force yourself to love Jungwon because of how he feels for you, let it go as it should." Jay said patting Riki's shoulder.

"Urghhhh!" Riki covers his face with a pillow, frustrated with his mixed feelings. "Is it wrong if I like them both !?"

"Of course not... it's natural at this phase, you lost someone you love, you're moving on, and you like someone else. You're somewhere in the middle right now, moving on and liking. Maybe Jungwon might even help you move on from Sunoo and let go of the past."

"I can't just...let it go, I did something hurtful and irreversible, it hurt everyone around us!"

"They have all recovered Riki, and Sunoo wouldn't want you to feel like this about the situation. He will never want you to blame yourself," said Jay.

"I know...that's why i love him so much. He was just the cutest...sweetest hyung I ever had..."

"Hey! What about me!" Jay said with a frown. "Am i not the cutest and sweetest hyung you ever had!" He folded his arms adorably and turned away from Riki, "hmph"

"AHAHHHAAHA OKAY OKAY YOU'RE THE CUTEST AND SWEETEST HYUNG I EVER HAD AHAHAHHA." Riki laughed making Jay smile knowing he succeeded in distracting the younger from being sad.

___

Riki entered the school and Jungwon ran to him from behind tapping his shoulder. "Hey our cover video is doing really good, it's getting lots of attention and praises. Have you seen the comments?"

"Huh no... I haven't went to see the video yet, sorry."

"Oh it's okay... but are you alright? You don't sound too good," Jungwon asked, concerned.

"Yea I'm fine don't worry bout' me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea!"

"If you say so..."

Jungwon and Riki walked together and at the place where they usually split up, for them to go to their respective classes, Riki didn't change his direction and he continued to follow Jungwon.

"Riki your class isn't this way." Jungwon said but got no response from the younger, so he poked him a few times in the arm.

"Hm?"

"Your class, that way."

"O-oh yea.. right oopsies haha." Riki turns and was about to leave but Jungwon held him back by the arm.

"You're not okay, I can tell. And why do you look so tired, did something happen?"

"Nooo i'm fine! I just didn't sleep well."

"It sure seems more than that, are you really sure there's nothing more?"

"Of course! Why would I lie to you!" Riki said.

"Okay then..." Jungwon said letting go of him, "are we having lunch together later?"

"Erm, I don't think so, sorry hyung."

"It's fine..." Jungwon walked off to his classroom disappointed and Riki could feel that disappointment from a mile away.

Riki went to the canteen to buy a cup of iced chocolate for jungwon after leaving his bag pack in his classroom, also delivering it to Jungwon's class.

To his dismay, Jungwon wasn't there, and he didn't know where his seat was. Class was about to start, he had to go back as soon as he could, but Jungwon... He was worried and sad that Jungwon is upset, he wanted to tell Jungwon he'll have lunch with him, but the hyung he wanted to see, just isn't returning.

He wanted to ask one of Jungwon's classmate for his seat or to get them to leave it on his desk, but he was too shy and afraid. So instead he ran off back to class, drinking the iced chocolate in sorrow. Not only did he not get to have lunch with Jungwon, he watched Jungwon being close, eating, and going on a stroll with someone else.

He was jealous, upset, regretful.

"I should have just agreed..."