Love n Crime

Chapter 13

They pull at my arms, dragging me down, down, down. Their bloody fingers left blood marks all over my arms. I couldn't make out any sounds as I just stared in horror. Their eyes are hollowed out, blood gurgles out of their mouths, yet tears fall from their empty eyes.

"You're a monster!"

I jolt forward and my legs slam into something hard. I frantically looked at my surroundings to see that I was still in the passenger side of Taeho's car, yet they were nowhere to be seen. I looked out the window but it was pitch black, so dark it looked like someone threw black paint over the car. I tried to open the door yet it was glued shut. With a few jams against the door, I give up. As I turn around, my eyes go wide in terror.

Slouched in the driver seat was Taeho, bloodied and lifeless. I turned to the backseat and June was also slouched and lifeless in the backseat. I'm trying to grab either of them yet there's an invisible wall blocking me from them. I scream and I cry as I struggle to touch them.

"June!"

"Isla!"

My eyes open in panic as I jerk upright and turn around. June sat in the driver's seat and  leaned forward towards me as Taeho was nowhere in sight. We were still in the car.

"Where's Taeho?!?" I asked frantically.

"He's inside talking to your father. Calm down..." He softly assures. "It's just another bad dream."

I look down at my hands that were bloodied before but they were clean.

"I cleaned you up. Figured you passed out from the blood. Didn't want you to wake up and pass out again."

There was no hint of mockery in his voice, just genuinely worried. He takes my hand into his and sighs.

"You did a great job tonight, but you almost made the biggest mistake of your life-"

Just then, the front door to my fathers cabin opens and Taeho walks out. June lets go of my hand and straightens up. Taeho climbs into the backseat and looks at me.

"Rule number one, never leave behind any kind of evidence. Rule number two, the moment you step foot onto the field, you don't hesitate nor freeze. You go for it no matter what. You two were seconds away from being caught." His voice was hard and cold, a tone I've never heard from him before.

"You dropped your knife that had our symbol on it." June clarifies. "Your handprints are all over it. Had I not picked it up, we would've been busted."

Guilt rushes over at the thought that I could have potentially got the both of them into trouble because of my mistakes.

"I'm sorry. I froze up...this is my first time-" I suddenly feel nauseous at the image of him gurgling his blood, spilling from his mouth onto my skin.

Taeho rubs his face and sighs. "Don't apologize. Just do better. This is your fathers fault for throwing such an assignment at you at such an early stage. I didn't even kill someone until I was two years in..."

"You're only two months in...I wonder what's going on that the boss is so riled up to act so rationally." June says quietly. "Sending you on such assignments already."

Taeho lays a warm hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently. "Don't allow the image to linger in your mind too long."

I knew exactly what he was talking about.

—-

Taeho drops June and I off at home and leaves to take care of unfinished business. As we stop at the front doors, I halt. My mind was in blur and my heart was heavy. I stare down at my clean hands that feel permanently stained with blood...

"Isla?"

I take a step back and sigh. "Can you take me to the Han River?"

June looks down at me then silently nods. I wait outside as he heads inside to grab his keys before we head to the Han River. When we arrive, I exit the car and head straight down to the river without waiting for June. It takes a minute before he reaches me and comes to stand beside me.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

I shake my head as unknown tears well in my eyes and begin to drop uncontrollably. I'm sniffling as I cover my face with both my hands. June embraces me in his arms and rests his chin on top of my head.

"You did wonderful tonight." He assured me.

–

We're sitting on a bench by the river as the wind blows slightly.

"Your constant nightmares..." June begins. "They seem to be really bad."

"8 years ago..." I start hesitantly. "There was a massacre that happened at my home." I take slow steady breaths to calm my racing heart at the mention of that night. "Everyone was killed except me, my mother, and my father. Taeho's parents were also a part of that massacre."

June listens silently, allowing me to take my time.

Another steady breath. "I was only 8 and what I saw that night, scarred me till this day. Lifeless bodies laid sprawled out everywhere in our home. It was a bloodbath. Those lifeless bodies were of the faces that I grew up with and come to love as my own family. One being my nanny, Choa. She was more like a mother than my actual mother. When I saw her lifeless body, I was horrified. Blood...there was so much blood everywhere. On the walls, our floor, the couch..."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that at such a young age." He whispers.

"Choi Sehoon had sent his men that night to kill me, but...my parents we were in the secret basement for a movie night that I insisted we have, so we got lucky. While no one else made it out alive..." I blink away tears. "Had I not forced a movie night and let everyone go home at their appropriate times, none of this would have happened. They would have gotten to go home to their families-"

June places his hand over mine, comfortingly. "What happened 8 years ago, isn't your fault, Isla."

I sigh. "Had they gone home and the assassins got their correct targets, at least I would have died alongside my parents. They all died alone, and cold on our floor. Their families had to mourn them after death. We have no one to mourn us, so we would have just died in peace."  Tears rolled down my cheeks defiantly. "For 8 years, I had nightmares filled with guilt. They claw at my skin, trying to take me down with them. I didn't help them, I could have prevented what happened from happening...their lifeless bodies haunt me till this day in my dreams."

"You've suffered for so long alone." He whispers, wiping away the stray tear. "I'm here now, to share that burden with you. We will get through our traumas together, as one."

I look up at him as his words soothe me. No one has ever offered a hand, not even Taeho as he battles with his own loss. My tears begin to fall uncontrollably once again, suddenly feeling a small piece of burden lift off my shoulders. A small weight that weighed down my heart, seems to have lightened up.

"Thank you for listening..." I whisper. "I'm sorry for being so harsh on you when I found out that you were also one of my father's men. I was so hurt when I lost Choa and Taeho's parents, all because they were working under my father. I was scared to lose you in the same way...I was so afraid." I sniffle back tears. "Here I am, also a member after giving you crap. I'm sorry..."

He wipes away my tears and locks our lips together. His kiss is gentle, warm, and heartfelt. He slides his hand behind my neck and pulls me in, deepening our kiss...

Is this what love feels like?