Redemption and Scars (A tale of Anidita)

Chapter Two

Bondita's nightmare

"No, don't leave me Patibabu, please don't leave me. I beg of you". Bondita was sweating and turning in bed murmuring these words when her sleep suddenly breaks off. She shoots off her bed in a panicked manner hoping that no-one had heard her words.

She hurriedly drinks a glass of water and wipes her sweat beads that were forming on her forehead.

"How long am I going to get this nightmare for" is all that revolves around her head.

As she remembers the taunts and curse words the villagers had thrown at her when Anirudh had married Manorama.

The women in the village had made her life a living hell then. Now a days they bow their heads in front of her, they never dare to say anything at all.

How would they when all they see is the mask that Bondita has perfected! Bondita can even say that they respect her as the Zamindarni, they fear her. But whenever she looks at their faces all she remembers are the horrific memories of that time. First, they had filled her head with "Patni dharma" and then when she had failed, they had taunted her mercilessly by using Manorama's name.

Even a lot of her classmates didn't stop making her life a living hell. It was only due to Batuk and later, Amrit that she had survived at school.

Bondita suddenly shakes off those thoughts when she notices it's almost 4 in the morning.

She decides to take a shower early in the morning and then revise for some time. After all, she nowadays didn't have the luxury of seeking her Patibabu's help whenever she wanted.

An hour later after completing her chemistry revision Bondita starts getting ready for the pooja.

She in the morning dresses very simply as she also had to get ready for school later. Thankfully her Kaka sasur ji has become lenient towards her these days. He doesn't fuss over her morning get up that much but she often wonders, is his lenience the outcome of his pity towards her as a result of the tears that she once had shed in front of him!

As she puts the Sindoor on her parting in front of the mirror, she can't recognize the girl in the mirror anymore at all.

Wasn't she the reason of everyone's happiness? Didn't she talk non-stop with everyone? Werent her eyes filled with happiness!

Then why today she is having trouble recognizing herself. She sometimes feels like an imposter in her own body.

If this is what growing up truly means then couldn't she have remained a child forever?

Bonditas self-destructive thoughts take a backseat when she investigates the time again. She hurriedly gets ready and goes out her room but not before putting the mask of a perfect daughter in law, Bondita Roy Chowdhury.

After finishing last task of the morning which is giving coffee to her husband, Bondita goes to get ready hurriedly after scolding Batuk for the hundredth time.

She truly doesn't understand her relationship with him. From fighting forever with him to becoming each others shield they have come a long way. They fight like siblings; he protects her like a bodyguard on the way to school and even fights with the guys who used to comment on Anirudh's second marriage during that time also.

Batuk along with Amrit takes her for "Fuchka and street foods" often after school. Which is not very pleasant for her as most of her time goes away solving the fights between her devar and best friend. Later, Uday started joining them as well and finally, she had a responsible eating partner.

She is pleating her hair into a long braid when Batuk calls her to hurry up as they also must eat breakfast. She hollers back at him and quickly comes down at the dining table after getting ready.

As she sits at the table, she quickly takes two puris along with some vegetable curry to eat her breakfast. Not before helping koyeli to serve other family members.

Trilochon looks at her and sighs inwardly, the dining table that used to be filled with constant chattering of the youngest members of the house is today only filled with the murmurs of the family. Sampoorna and Binoy are discussing among themselves, whereas Somnath is eating with one hand and memorizing medical books with other.

And lastly, Anirudh is busy eating and gazing at his wife in adoration.

This boy has disappointed him so much as he is just being a "Nalayak" and watching his wife pulling away from him.

His self-monologue gets broken he hears Anirudh ask Bondita something.

"Bondita, you haven't eaten much today, here take these two rasgullas. You need energy in school"- his loving words to Bondita is rebuked when she replies that she is already full and can't eat the rasgullas at all.

But seeing Anirudh's face fall hearing her refusal she quickly takes one and devours it. Even though it tastes like cardboard to her. She had given up loving rasgullas when she had seen Anirudh feeding Manorama the same thing one day.

It was their thing; she until this day can't get over those images. It might be small for others but the little scars also could hurt you the most along with causing you immense pain.

Maybe, that is why teenagers are supposed to be nurtured carefully as their hearts are most easy to crush or scar permanently.

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