Pepa Madrigal x Reader

My promise (Pepa's vers)(F!Reader)

Warnings: bulimia, vomiting.

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Pepa hurried back to Casita, not caring that the strong winds she brought with her destroyed a few stores and other things in town. She couldn't care less about that, all she wanted was to get to you.

Dolores was usually quiet and didn't like to raise her voice, so when her daughter had run to her almost screaming (well, which for her would be the equivalent of screaming), she knew something was wrong.

Her precious little girl looked so lost and her voice was laden with helplessness as she told her that she had heard you lock yourself in your room, muttering horrible things about yourself. Her stomach hurt immediately and she had thanked her daughter before flying off towards the house.

Pepa and you had been together for a while now and the redhead knew how much you struggled with your own image. She wished she could do something for you, show you how beautiful you were, and she would do it little by little. But at that moment, she just needed to get to you.

The older woman took the steps two at a time before Casita helped her, pushing her up to shorten the path. She didn't even knock on the door, she just walked into the room she shared with you and the cloud over her head darkened as she heard you vomit in the bathroom.

Pepa tried to calm down, knowing that it wouldn't help you if she makes lightning. But it hurt so much to see you like this, leaning over the toilet and vomiting the little food that she and her sister had managed to make you eat.

She approached you carefully, without saying anything, without yelling or scolding you. She simply held your hair for you and traced calming circles on your back as you finished emptying your stomach. It felt terrible not being able to help you.

"It's okay, calm down" she whispered to you "I'm here, let it all out"

"I didn't do it" you mumbled between gags "I-it wasn't me. It just came out"

"It's okay honey, I believe you" she gave you a kiss on the temple before another gag took over you.

The redhead was sure you were telling the truth. It had taken a long time for you to reach a level of trust where you felt safe enough with her to talk about your illness, and even longer for her to help you make any headway.

It was hard, but she was by your side the whole way, not judging or pressuring you, and thanks to that you had long since stopped sticking your fingers down your throat to make yourself vomit right after eating. But you had spent so many years doing it, even before you started dating her, that your gag reflex was wrong and sometimes you unintentionally threw up. You guys were working on it.

Pepa waited patiently with you until you were sure it had stopped and you wouldn't throw up anymore. She smiled at you as she walked you over to the sink, still holding your hair as you washed your mouth. It was always a surprise to you how calm the woman could be when witnessing these scenes, without making you feel gross or like you just wanted attention, and you were deeply grateful for that.

"Come, let's get some rest" she told you, taking you out of the bathroom and into the bed.

She lay down next to you and let you hide your face on her chest, gently rubbing your back. The older woman knew that you would soon be sleepy and although what she wanted most was to let you rest, she had to talk with you.

"Amor" she started "...you know you can tell me anything, right?"

"...Yes"

Your tone told her that you already suspected where this was going, so there was no point in beating around the bush.

"Dolores heard you"

"...I assumed that's why you came so fast" you confessed

Pepa pushed you gently to look you in the eye. She really had a hard time understanding how you could consider yourself less than beautiful, but this wasn't about her.

"I'm sorry" you mumbled "I don't know why you even keep dating me"

She froze. She looked into your eyes again and saw that horrible ghost of insecurity. Her heart ached that you even had to ask why she was still by your side.

"Because I love you, Y/N"

"But you shouldn't have to put up with my...issues. You deserve more."

"I have everything I want"

Pepa gave you a kiss on the temple and gently pulled you to sit down. She knew you hated to see yourself in the mirror that she had in front of the bed, but maybe, just maybe, this time you could see a little more. See you as she did.

"Pep-"

"You vomit your own anxiety" she sighed, caressing your cheek "The obsession of the perfect image signed sentence for your slavery and I don't know how to free you. I don't want to put more pressure on you, but I need us to keep trying, I promise I won't leave you but you can't give up crystal girl"

"...I don't know how to do it" you said, feeling the tears come "I don't know what to do. Because I don't want to continue like this, but I don't know how to stop...I don't want to hate myself"

Pepa couldn't hold back the rain this time, but at least it didn't seem to bother you. On the contrary, she had given you the perfect opportunity for your tears to run free, merging with the raindrops.

"I try, I really do" you sobbed "But I don't know how to love myself"

"Then I will teach you" she told you "Mi niña, for me your smile is the most beautiful thing I could ever have. And no matter what, I will stay here with you...one day it will stop hurting" she promised you.

Despite the big lump in your throat and the tears drenching your face in the cold rain, you smiled softly. This woman really was a sun and you didn't know what you had done to deserve her. You looked at your reflection for a moment and for the first time in a long time, you didn't completely hate it.